Friday Night Funnies: Dopey

As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists
that appear in e-mails. BUT this one is important. It has
been circulating for months and has been sent to over 20
million people.

To show your support for Michael Ignatieff for Prime Minister please go to the end of
the extensive list and add your name.

1. Mrs Ignatieff
2.
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FREE KITTENS

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS..

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm Mr. Ignatieff. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Ignatieff.
Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Liberals," answered Suzy with a smile.

Ignatieff was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that Mr. Ignatieff should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS," when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from CBC, CTV, and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Ignatieff got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're CONSERVATIVES."

Taken by surprise, Mr. Ignatieff stammered, "But... but... yesterday, you told me they were LIBERALS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open"

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WHAT PILOTS SEE WHEN LANDING AT OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE...

A farmer does it with his tractor and not sure if he uses a plow or a disc. He uses GPS to get the letters readable. He has done this every fall for several years now.

Here's the view from the flight pattern into OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE. This is what our servicemen see when landing at Offutt AFB. Hat tip to the Bellevue farmer who made it happen!
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Roger 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old

Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that

after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because

she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert

himself if they spend

the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself

for bed and the expected knock

on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door

opens and there is

Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite

as one. All goes well,

Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go

to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her

bedroom door, and it's

Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat

surprised, Jenny consents for

more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids

her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you

guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping

on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for

more 'action'. And,

once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride

says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you

can perform so well and so often. I have been

with guys less than a third of your age who were only

good once. You are

truly a great lover, Roger.'

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and

says: 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story:

Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has

its advantages.

PS.. Have I sent this to you already?

Did I post this on my blog last Friday?
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Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs
(A TRUE Political Fable)

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.
As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.

As lunchtime approached she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'

For a long while, there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White again shouted,
'Hello! Is anyone down there?'

Just as she was about to give up all hope,
She heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing . . ....Vote for Jack Layton!
Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and prayed,
'Oh, thank you God! At least Dopey is still alive!'
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Is this what Iggy was up to last night?

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Have a great weekend, remember it's time to get the message out. Usually when PM Harper has mentioned "majority" the poll numbers have gone down, it hasn't happened this time. This time I think people are ready for a majority, and the only party that can deliver that stable majority is the Conservatives, let's make it happen!