Friday Night Funnies: Happy Birthday Son!

Today, my eldest son turned 17. He is an awesome young man. He is going to join the reserves this summer, he is aces at learning Japanese, and he was asked to join the schools jazz band. He plays a mean trombone! Next week he goes to Seattle with the concert band, it should be a great time. So, Stretch, you are a young man now, and it looks good on you. You make me proud, SON. Enough mushy stuff, on to the funnies...
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PROFOUND MOURNING.....

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
departed mother and started back toward his car,
when his attention was diverted
to another man
kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die?
Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief,
but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen.
For whom do you mourn so deeply?
A child?
A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself,then replied,
"My wife's first husband."
(Lefties....think about it!)
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The anti-Christ/religion people probably don't think this is funny, but this Catholic does.


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Undies

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep
asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at doing them.

Mom said: "YOU should say NO--they only want to look at your undies."
Susie said: "I know they do...that's why I hide them in my backpack!!"
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One sunny day in January, 2013 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."
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Dear Lord,
I know that I haven't talked to you that much, but this past year you have taken away my favourite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favourite actress, Farah Fawcett, and my favourite musician, Michael Jackson.
I just wanted to let you know that my favourite premiers are Campbell and McGuinty.
Amen
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Single Black Female

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....



Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.
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Have a great weekend, it is supposed to be over 20C everyday this weekend....getting the golf clubs out and heading for the driving range! Plus, I have a lot of plants that need to get in the ground.