Friday Night Funnies: The Invisibility Cloak

An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any

 more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says

 the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

  

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the

 panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to

 hear, the old German Shepherd says...

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

  

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!  Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

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NO, I HAVE NOT SEEN YOUR LIPSTICK!!!!!! Why would you even ask me that?  I am so insulted!Every time something goes missing around here,everybody looks at me! Handle every Stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, Pee on it and walk away.

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An Italian woman married an American gentleman and they lived happily
> ever after in Pittsburgh . The poor lady was not very proficient in
> English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real
> problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
>
> One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She
> didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation,
> clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her
> butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs.
>
> Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know  how
> to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to
> show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave
> her some chicken breasts.
>
> On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a
> way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
>
>
> (Please scroll down.)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> What were you
> thinking?
>
> Her husband speaks English!

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I know it's friday night funnies, but get the tissues out for this one:

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Scared Dad
	Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest scaredy-cat. The first kid says, "My dad is so scared that when lightning strikes, he hides underneath the bed." The second kid replies,"Yeah? Well, that's nothing. My dad is so scared that when my mom has to work the nightshift, he sleeps with the lady next door."

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I imagine the lefties are going to be all hot and bothered about this one:

It's a spoof!! DUH!!

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A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest
beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

'Of course, child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my
mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and
I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it
through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of me head down to me waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which
is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

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The National Post has declared the Red Ali budget a NDP budget, unfortunately, that is true, and not funny. Does Alberta go bold and sweep the garbage out or do we wimp out? I say go BOLD!

Have a great weekend, get out and enjoy our mild weather, while it it lasts.

Alberta's Budget? Goodies For Everyone!

Seriously, they gave money to everyone that might potentially vote for them. They were so generous with our money, that we will run a deficit for the 5th year in a row. Oh, but by next year we will be in good shape. If you believe that, you haven't been paying attention to what has been happening in Alberta for years.

Red Ali is treating us like idiots. Does she seriously think that we are going to be enchanted with her deficit budget? Alberta has a spending problem, not a revenue problem.

Here is a link to all the goodies.

We have goodies for the aboriginals, the sick, the disabled, the young, the old, the cities, transit, farmers, at risk children, homeless, the environment, and finally, the taxpayers:

• No new taxes and no tax rate increases.
• Personal income tax credits increased to offset inflation.
• Albertans and Alberta businesses pay the least taxes in the country – with the lowest fuel tax among provinces, no payroll tax, no capital tax and no provincial sales tax.
• Albertans would pay almost $11 billion more in taxes each year with any other provincial tax system.

Wow, I'm impressed, no new taxes.....that sounds familiar....like Daddy Dalton, who once elected, imposed new taxes! Then we are supposed to feel grateful that we don't pay as much as people in other provinces?

What they are actually telling us taxpayers, is we are lucky they didn't raise taxes. How about cutting some programs? Laying off all the deadwood in government?

They think we are sheep. We are not, and Red Ali has no clue how the average Albertan thinks because she is too busy hobnobbing with the "elites". Maybe she should get down to a working farm and muck out the stable, so she can get a real feel for Albertans. Vote Wildrose, boot these bums, 40 years is too long!

Charities Or Lobbyists?

Interesting the Suzuki Foundation is a charity, yet he walked down the road, obviously supporting Dalton in the provincial election.

According to Revenue Canada rules, this is a huge violation of their laws.

6.1 What are prohibited activities?
A charity may not take part in an illegal activity or a partisan political activity. A partisan political activity is one that involves direct or indirect support of, or opposition to, any political party or candidate for public office.

When a political party or candidate for public office supports a policy that is also supported by a charity, the charity is not prevented from promoting this policy. However, a charity in this situation must not directly or indirectly support the political party or candidate for public office. This means that a charity may make the public aware of its position on an issue provided:

it does not explicitly connect its views to any political party or candidate for public office;

Well, Suzuki publicly supported Dalton in the last election, this is in clear violation of the Act. Thanks for the video Just Right!

Another funny thing is that balance sheets are supposed to be balanced, but from the information on the government site, that is not the case.
Assets: Cash, bank accounts, and short-term investments 4100 $ 1,007,665 Amounts receivable from non-arm's length parties 4110 $ 600,494 Amounts receivable from all others 4120 Investments in non-arm's length parties 4130 Long-term investments 4140 $ 7,398,963 Inventories 4150 Land and buildings in Canada 4155 Other capital assets in Canada 4160 $ 2,455,012 Capital assets outside Canada 4165 Accumulated amortization of capital assets 4166 $ -940,512 Other assets 4170 $ 299,516 Total assets (add lines 4100 to 4170) 4200 $ 10,821,138 Amount included in lines 4150, 4155, 4160, 4165 and 4170 not used in charitable programs 4250 Liabilities: Accounts payable and accrued liabilities 4300 $ 431,820 Deferred revenue 4310 $ 1,446,197 Amounts owing to non-arm's length parties 4320 Other liabilities 4330 $ 536,483 Total liabilities (add lines 4300 to 4330) 4350 $ 2,414,500 Can any accountants explain this to me? Or does it mean that the missing 8,000,000 is in owner's equity, or maybe check Suzuki's pocket.
From the same resource, I find this interesting:
C4 Did the charity carry on, fund, or provide any resources through employees, volunteers, agents, joint ventures, contractors, or any other individuals, intermediaries, entities, or means (other than qualified donees) for any activity/program/project outside Canada? 2100 No If yes, you must complete and attach Schedule 2, Activities Outside Canada, to your return.
Well this seems to be that someone connected to the Suzuki Foundation was  "carrying on" "outside of Canada"... Don't watch it, I'm just using it as proof that Suzuki was carrying on outside of Canada, yet their return to Revenue Canada said that NO we didn't do any protesting outside of Canada.
Revenue Canada needs to stop all these environmental groups from getting charitable status, they are powerful lobby groups, not charities. What has the Suzuki Foundation ever done to stop real pollution? Are they out planting trees? Nope, the dopes go to Bali by plane, and dress in polar bear costumes so they can pass out in the heat. Why not hold the next conference in Yellowknife in February? Right.....HA!

PM Harper's Trip Has Americans Worried.

Interesting that all of a sudden, the US is waking up to the fact that Canada is not the 57th State (Obama making stuff up) they have been led to believe. They seem shocked that Canada now has a backbone after years of lame America bashing by the Liberals.

Obama has bowed down to a Saudi "King", but has turned his back on Americas best friend, Canada. Maybe it's payback for our relentless bashing of America and their Presidents. Funny how it was perfectly okay for Liberal MP's to sneer at G.W. Bush, but if any Conservative MP dared to say what a loser Obama is, he would be crucified by the media. Obama's decision on the Keystone pipeline was so blatantly about politics even a 7 year old could understand his motives, but our lefty media didn't say a bad thing about his decision. We get it. Obama = good, Harper = bad.

It has now become a huge election issue in the States. Expect Obama to reverse his decision just before the election, if polls show him losing ground. It's a shame that people's livelihoods have taken second place to the politics of the Keystone pipeline. Maybe America is starting to wake up though:

As it turns out, the environmental movement doesn’t just want to shut down Keystone.  Its real goal, as I discovered when I spoke recently to Michael Brune, the executive director of the Sierra Club, is much bigger.  “The effort to stop Keystone is part of a broader effort to stop the expansion of the tar sands,” Brune said.  “It is based on choking off the ability to find markets for tar sands oil.”

This is a ludicrous goal.  If it were to succeed, it would be deeply damaging to the national interest of both Canada and the United States.  But it has no chance of succeeding.  Energy is the single most important industry in Canada.  Three-quarters of the Canadian public agree with the Harper government’s diversification strategy.  China’s “thirst” for oil is hardly going to be deterred by the Sierra Club. And the Harper government views the continued development of the tar sands as a national strategic priority.

Thus, at least one country in North America understands where its national interests lie.  Too bad it’s not us.

Read the whole article, it is one of the best commentaries on the Keystone pipelines I have read to date. He should be named an honorary Canadian, he understands the issue so well.

So there you have it, in plain language, the environmentalists want to shut down the oil sands, no matter what the cost to our economy. They are idiots, plain and simple. They are do nothings who do not understand even the basics about how people survive or how the economy works.

Energy, Canada's future, and greenies want to shut it down. No wonder they don't want kids, they understand that they are killing future generations chances of ever surviving, the next baby ice age.

Are Alberta Unions Trying To Influence Our Election?

We know an election is coming, so who is gearing up to volunteer? None other than the teachers union that got 100 million from Red Ali! Say it isn't so!

Volunteering at election time

January 31, 2012

ATA News Staff

Consider lending your skills to the democratic cause

Albertans will head to the polls some time between March 1 and May 31, according to amendments to the ­Election Act that came into force in ­December.

Once the writ has been dropped, Elections Alberta, the province’s nine registered political parties, their candidates and independent candidates will require volunteers. As a teacher interested in the future of public education, you might consider lending your considerable skills to the democratic cause before, during or after the 28-day campaign period.

Volunteering at election time can be an exciting and rewarding, if exhausting, venture. In most campaigns, volunteers far outnumber paid staff. Working in a partisan or nonpartisan capacity will give you not only insight into the electoral process, issues and candidates but also the opportunity to influence the calibre and outcome of the campaign. By becoming politically engaged with the party or candidate of your choice, you can also help determine the conditions under which you teach and your students learn. Perhaps most importantly, your engagement will help demonstrate to students through personal example the values of citizenship and democracy.

The opportunity to influence the outcome of the campaign?  Do not doubt that they are serious, they got Red Ali appointed, didn't they? I have been hearing ads on the radio that sound like union sponsored ads, but I can't remember what group it is that is advertizing.(If you know send me a comment)

Lending your skills to the democratic cause is code for getting the people you want elected. It stinks to high heaven of corrupting our democratic process, not enhancing it. They are teaching your kids how to subvert the vote of people. It's really nothing about teaching and everything about "influencing our democratic process". Remember Red Ali got elected by pandering to the teachers union by giving them 100 million, and she is counting on them to "get out the vote", just like Acorn in the US.