Friday Night Funnies: Fun Fur!

 I promise I won't do it again Mom!
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 Two Trees and a Woodpecker

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?' The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the
best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.
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Italian Bank Robbery

A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy dead without hesitation! He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. He sees one of the tellers looking straight at him; the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead. Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor. "Dida anyone elsa seea my face?" calls the robber. There follows a tense minute of silence. Then an elderly Italian gentleman, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says: "I tinka my wife caught a glimpse......"

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The meaning of Fun Fur! 

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Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college. 

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 For a great blend of music that even us Alberta rednecks can understand, watch this:

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Blogging will be light until the gardening is done, in the meantime, try this
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