Friday, December 28, 2012

Friday Night Funnies: Dogs and Red Necks.

Dogs, what can you say?

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Apology Letters To Spouse - PRICELESS!
 
 
Hi Sweetheart, 

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights. 
 
I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.
 
  I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. 
 
All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. 
 
Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!  I took the time to hang the lights for you today;
 
and now I will be off to the hockey rink. 

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.  I'll be home later. 

Love you……
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Her response -  
Hi Honey, 
  
Thank you for that heart-felt apology. 
 
I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it.  
 
I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. 
 
I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy.  I will try to respect your feelings from now on. 
 
 Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. 
 
It really means a lot.  In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you;
 
and now I am off to the mall. 

I love you too!

   

Red Necks???
  
      
Description: EFA2A39EB5E94E46B4DC29863A66C28B@JuliePC

  Description: 70EBD58C21CC4B218318FDF3DBEC3DA8@JuliePC

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 Red Neck???


Stopped by the Hell Creek Bar in Jordan (Montana) last week, and I’ll be damned if ol’ Gumbo Nunley wasn’t barred up.  Sent a drink down to him and walked over to see what he was up to.

“Gumbo,” I says,”thought you moved to Arizona for good.”

He says,”Me, too, but a judge down there told me he’d suspend my sentence if I left the state, so I hauled ass before he changed his mind!”
 

“What the hell was that about?”  I asked him.

He says,”Well, I stopped in Kingman to get a case of beer and I had just put the beer on the roof of my truck and my hat blew off.  So I trotted across the parking lot to get it and as I was walking back, this illegal alien ran up to my pickup, grabbed the beer, and hauled ass.  So I grabbed the rifle outa the rack and tipped his ass over. And as I’m walking over to get my beer back the sheriff, who had seen the whole fracas come up and put me under arrest.”

I says to him,"I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Arizona!"

"Well yeah, under the right circumstances, it sure is," says the sheriff,"BUT YOU CAN’T USE BAIT."

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Red Neck???
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Red neck or just old???

 My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.
    
He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
    
He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving."
    
"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore.
    
"The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the wastebasket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"

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Red Neck???

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Red Neck???

 To all my friends and family, At this time of the year, when the roadblocks come up with great
regularity, I would like to share a personal experience about drinking
and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have
had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an
occasional social session over the years.
 A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had
a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well
I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never
done before - I took a cab home. Sure enough, I passed a police road
block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past.
 I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise, as I
have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what
to do with it now that it's in my garage.

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Red Neck???

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And my favorite, dog picture of all time....so far.....

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So, get off your butt and enjoy the wonderful weather we are getting, finally. It's been brutal here since October, Halloween was a nightmare (I know bad pun, but true).

As of today, I have two teenagers that can drive my car.....is that a nightmare or what??

Oh well, getting ready for our New Years Eve party....I do love cooking and knowing that people enjoy the food. All I need now, is a really good punch (alcohol included/excluded) recipe. 

2 comments:

West Coast Teddi said...

Happy New Year Hunter (and everyone else). Take care and enjoy your 2013. We live in a great country where we can laugh at ourselves and enjoy the freedom to read FNF!!

Thanks for FNF from the west coast.

Patsplace said...

Thanks for the laughs. "Not allowed to use bait" was a coffee spewer for sure.

Have a happy and anxious new year with your two new drivers.

Pat