When everyone on earth was dead and
waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make
two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the
other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women
to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there
were two lines of men. The line of men who were dominated by their wives was
100 miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household
there stood only one man.
God said to the long
line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the
head of your household. You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your
purpose. Of all of you, only one man obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man: "How
did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
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Why Men Wear Earrings
A man is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally
conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion
sense"
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't
know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an
earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but
then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing
one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my
truck."
(I always wondered how this trend got started)
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Speaking of bull:
NEVER BELIEVE AN IRISHMAN
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An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call
on his cell phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his
wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds,
but the man just shrugs,
"That's about average up our way, folks...like I said - my
boy's a typical County Mayo baby boy."
Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender
says,"Say, you're the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed
25 pounds
at birth, aren't you?
Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks
.... so how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What
happened?"
"He was 25 pounds the day he was born."
The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes
his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
"Had him circumcised."
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SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.' The room erupted in applause DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
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Have a great weekend! We are getting rain and I will be busy watching the weeds grow right before my eyes!
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