Friday Night Funnies: Prostate Exam...Yikes!

This was nominated for best joke of the year.

A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'

That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a Canadian ?'
She says , 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'
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Okay guys, I know you don't like the idea of a prostate exam, but do you think us females like the pap test? It does save lives, just ask Layton, if caught early. There is something funny about it though!

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A redneck was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the
shadows.

'Twenty dollars,' she whispers.

Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck,
it's only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes. They're 'engaged'
for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a
police officer.

'What's going on here, people?' asks the officer.

'I'm making love to my wife,' Bubba answers, sounding annoyed.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop. 'I didn't know.'

'Well, neither did I, 'til ya shined that light in her face!'
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BMW's campaign for their factory approved "pre-owned" cars.


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Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older,

it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test.

Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.



1. What do you put in a toaster?





Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.

If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?





Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks,

what is a green house made from?




Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,'

why are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.


4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany

(If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into

West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail.

The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,

decides on a crash landing procedure.

Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so

and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land'

between East Germany and West Germany ...

Where would you bury the survivors?

East Germany, West Germany , Or no man's land'?





Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.

If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.


5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales .

In London, 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven …




Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?




Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?

It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
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Speed Bump!

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You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house- mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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This is mythical and deep... Truly beautiful...

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean . . .




.. . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG,"
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GARLIC WARNING

For years, doctors and scientists have told us that some foods are good for us,
only to be told later that they are bad for us, and again they tell us that
some foods are bad for us, and all the time they've been good for us.

There doesn't seem to be much proof either way
to suggest what is good or bad, until now.

Looks like "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT" is true !!!

See the proof below .................


So, watch your Garlic intake ...
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A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, 'Well...I can clearly see your nuts!”
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You can't beat the last one, I wonder if that's one of my trolls? That's it for this week. Have a great weekend.

Dirty Oil Vs. Oil Spill

Let's see, Alberta oil sands are formed by Mother Nature and we are busy trying to make sure we stop the seeping into our rivers, that has been going on for thousands of years. Enviro's call it "dirty", because it causes more CO2 to enter the atmosphere, than conventional oil drilling. Remember, CO2; can not be seen, it does not smell, and it is not a pollutant. Every time you breath out, you are exhaling CO2, which plants love and kindly change into O2, or oxygen for us, so that we and every other animal/creature on earth can live.

Now eastern Canada insists on getting their oil from countries that require them to ship the "blood" oil in huge tankers across the seas, Valdez anyone? Or how about that oil spill from an offshore rig that exploded? How many ducks/turtles/dolphins/seals is that disaster going to kill? More than 2000?

I miss Klein. He might have been a liberal PC, but he had balls. He would not have sued Syncrude over a few ducks, so why is our province suing them? What is the motivation other than sucking up to the eco-nuts and Liberals? I want the province to sue themselves over all the birds their wind shredders are killing everyday, not just in a once in a decade fluke storm.

As part of the study, Erin Baerwald, an ecology student, hunts for dead and injured bats in Pincher Creek's turbine fields.

"Last year, more than 500 were found. This year, we're following a similar trend. And that's just this wind farm," Baerwald said.

The article mentions that the bats are not endangered, but neither are ducks. So, one wind farm kills 500 bats a year times 10 wind farms, we get 5000 bats a year, year in and year out. All those bats would have eaten millions of insects, now we will have to put up with more pests, and more disease.

What are the eco-nuts going to say now, just when Obama opened up new areas for off shore drilling. Quite a problem for them. They love Obama, so they can't attack him for his policy, but the potential damage to the environment from this spill could be way more than a few ducks. I wonder are they out protesting against off shore drilling and telling Obama to stop? Probably, after all their hero Gore just bought another property with 9 bathrooms and six CO2 spewing fireplaces.

I will keep my oil sands oil over offshore oil any day, it's less polluting, and less risky. Nobody dies from shoveling oil laden sand into a truck so it can be cleaned, and, that is the old way of doing business, now they use steam to extract the oil, without any drilling.

I hope the oil spill can be contained before it does anymore harm. NO-ONE wants pollution.

Dirty Oil Sands Oil Not Wanted?

Eastern Canada wants the oil sands shut down, or so we are constantly told by such experts as Premier Charest, Suzuki, and every eco-nut in Canada. They do not understand the money that Ontario and Quebec industries make on the oil sands. Or maybe they do, or why would Charest be looking for Quebec investors in the oil sands?

After Quebec Premier Jean Charest publicly decried the oilsands projects last year in Copenhagen, the Quebec government is now asking entrepreneurs in the province to participate in a commercial mission in Edmonton to set up some business relationships with Alberta’s oil industry.

In a message destined to entrepreneurs from Quebec, the Ministry of Economic Development said “that the resumption of the oil sands development projects in Alberta” provides us with “some good business opportunities."

The ministry goes on to provide a list of the projects for which Quebec companies could become suppliers such as Suncor and Husky.

Well, Quebec better act fast because the Chinese are very interested in the oil sands, and businesses do not really care who invests the money. Another interesting development lately has been "green" investors who are wanting oil companies to prove their projects are green, in an attempt to delay development. Why would eco-nuts buy shares in dirty profit motivated oil companies, then protest what they are doing? Power. Lawsuits are all the rage with them as well, but as their government money starts to dry up, expect their lawsuits to dry up as well. Lawyers are expensive.

Here is an interesting development that should have Ontario and Quebec sitting up taking notice.

China's clout draws oil sands IPO

CALGARY -- China's growing influence on Canada's oil and gas sector is about to show up in a new way as an oil-sands company prepares to go public in Hong Kong, rather than on Bay Street. The move breaks from the pattern domestic energy companies and their bankers have long followed, and could have lasting implications for the Toronto Stock Exchange.

Sunshine Oilsands Ltd., which snapped up more than a million acres of oil-sands leases between May 2007 and October 2008, is ready to launch a steam-assisted gravity-drainage pilot project. The Calgary company is looking to raise hundreds of millions of dollars on Hong Kong's stock exchange, a first for a Canadian energy company that highlights just how anxious Asian investors are to grab a slice of the oil sands.

Ever notice how the TSX seems to be tied into the price of oil and gas? When the price of oil is going up, so does the TSX, oil down, TSX down. Now that is a very simple explanation, but the energy sector is a large part of the TSX, and that appears to be about to change, not to the good of Bay Street.

Imagine that, after being vilified and sued by enviros, energy companies are going to Hong Kong to raise funds. What are the chances that Chinese companies are going to go to a board meeting and demand that their investment should be "greener"? Right.

I wonder, when Sunshine Oilsands wants some special equipment developed, where are they going to go, to Ontario with their high priced union shops, or to China, who invested in their company, and can provide what they need for much lower costs?

The most interesting and hilarious result of this initiative is that the enviros can't say a thing against it. They are the ones who consider China a developing nation and cry that we should not restrict their development. It just so happens that through investment, they will be developing the oil sands. So, keep on slamming the oil sands, they are not going anywhere, and if Canadians don't want to invest in them, China and India will. Now, about that pipeline through northern BC to get our product to Asian markets, think BC will stop it or join in the profitable game?

Maternal Means Mother.

The governments initiative to help with the maternal and child health care in developing countries is an excellent idea, that the Liberals have used as a wedge in their "cultural war" to gain votes. This is disgusting.

First, the Liberals need to understand what "maternal" means:

Main Entry: ma·ter·nal
Pronunciation: \mə-ˈtər-nəl\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French & Medieval Latin; Middle French maternel, from Medieval Latin maternalis, from Latin maternus, from mater mother — more at mother
Date: 15th century

1 : of, relating to, belonging to, or characteristic of a mother : motherly
2 a : related through a mother b : inherited or derived from the female parent

Since the 15th century maternal has meant Mother. There should be no confusion about the definition, but it appears that lefties just don't quite understand what Mother means. It means you are the female who gives birth to a child who is your daughter or son. Hopefully everyone can agree on that point. Well....maybe not everyone.

Fried said Oxfam has seen many girls as young as 11 and 12 carry babies to term and suffer lasting heath problems as a result.

"Where it's necessary, abortion is a safe tool to save a mother's life," he said.

Fried, what an appropriate name! Fried needs to understand that if a woman aborts her baby, she is not, and will not be a MOTHER! So, an initiative to help Mothers and their children, (both already born and breathing human beings) has nothing to do with abortion. When these Mothers are just trying to keep their babies alive, they do not want some supposedly "charitable" organization shoving the abortion debate into their lives. These women want food, clean water and medication for the babies they already have. How much would it cost to have free clinics for these families?

If OXFAM does not understand this, they deserve no more of our money. United Way is another organization that supports abortion. They have smartened up and allow you to direct your donation to a specific charity. The worse offender is UNICEF. They used to have all the Catholic schools getting the kids to collect change at Halloween. Can you remember the last time you saw one of their donation boxes? They don't want you to know they had to stop the program, because Catholic schools stopped supporting them, over their support of abortions.

Funny how the news articles are all about mean old Conservatives, and the people most often quoted are pro-abortion. How about the 50% who are pro-life? Crickets!!!

Gwen Landolt, vice president of REAL Women Canada, praised the Conservative government's decision, saying that they clearly “realize that you don't impose the practices of the Western world on the developing world.”

Landolt told LifeSiteNews.com on Tuesday that the prime minister had effectively said that his plan’s purpose is to “help poverty stricken countries, and to help them is to help women with clean water and proper medical care and looking after children after they're born.

“But destroying human life is simply no solution to the problem, because women in the developing world – because of cultural and religious reasons – they like having their children. They want their babies.”

Hey, there's an idea, ask the Mothers what they need. If they say food, clean water, and education, then let's put our dollars into those important initiatives. Let OXFAM/United Way/UNICEF do the abortions on their donors dime. Everyone happy now?

The Liberals should be ashamed of their "culture war" that is hurting MOTHERS in developing countries. They were not happy just attacking our troops, while they themselves march with terrorists that our troops are fighting, they are glorifying Galloway for sh*t sake! They have now included Mothers in third world countries, who love their babies and want them to have a fair chance at life. Unfortunately, the Liberal/NDP/Bloc coalition are promoting abortion to Mothers who have seen more death in their short lives than we can imagine. It really is sick.

Here's an idea. ALL 308 MP's should be required to spend all of July in Africa, helping at clinics, digging wells, growing crops, and helping Mothers take care of their families. Maybe then, when they tell us that these Mothers really want abortions, we might believe them. Let them see what it means to have no power, no fuel and no food. I haven't even talked about political and military dictators who steal all the aid money. Or the NGO's that take 75% of the money given to their organizations. Or the pirates and terrorists who steal the food and then sell it to buy guns. None of that is on the Liberals radar, or the medias, those are not divisive enough, they don't promote the "culture war" that the Liberals have been carrying out for years.

Maternal means Mother. You can not be a Mother if you abort your child. It's that simple. Aid to Mothers and children, leave the abortion issue out of it.

Social Justice Replaces Global Warming!

Climate change hanging on by it's fingernails. Okay, forget about global warming, now it's social justice. This is an excellent catch phrase because it can mean anything, just like climate change. What is social justice? Anything the lefties want to promote.

Let's try it out and see how the lefties will work it.

WE DEMAND SOCIAL JUSTICE FOR:

- all the women in third world countries who need abortions, (never mind the need for clean water or feeding the living children they already have, or the fact that they want those children, not like lefty women who are too concerned about their figures to want a child).

- all Palestinians in the world.

- all the prisoners, especially native prisoners.

- Omar the Kid.

- George Galloway, the terrorist supporter, (but not Ann Coulter).

- seals that are being killed.

- marijuana smokers, (but cigarette smokers are evil, no social justice for them).

- gang members who have been transplanted from their homelands to harsh cold Canada.

- environmentalists who have been called deniers....(oops that's not right, I mean eco-nuts).

- Afghan prisoners hit by shoes.

- low income earners by taking from productive members of society.

- the handicapped, (oh wait, handicapped are so yucky to lefties they want to abort them).

- the aged, by allowing their doctors to put them to sleep, like you would your sick old dog. (Bloc MP initiated bill, thankfully it failed).

Feel free to add to the list in comments.

Social justice? How about sending this guy to prison for the rest of his life?

HINTON — Ross Kleman admitted in court Monday to choking and slashing the throat of an Edson church girl, killing the 14-year-old pastor’s daughter.

Kleman was initially charged with first-degree murder for the brutal attack on Emily Stauffer, but pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of second-degree murder at the Court of Queen’s Bench in Hinton.

Court heard 44-year-old Kleman struggled with Stauffer, choked her, and slashed her throat on Sept. 27, 2008.

The teen was slain in broad daylight while walking along a popular walking trail.

Social justice, a nothing term, that lefties love to use because they are all about words and feelings, not so much with the facts. Facts scare them.

Avatar VS Oil Sands

Great, so we might get James Cameron coming to visit Alberta's oil sands. I hope the native leaders show him the buffalo, that haven't roamed there for centuries because the land was so polluted they avoided it!

James Cameron could visit oil sands: First Nations leader

Mr. Poitras said on Sunday firm plans for Cameron's visit are a long way off, but, "the sooner the better."

"I want him to see for himself and ... wherever he arrives at in terms of what the tar sands truly represent," Mr. Poitras said, adding newspapers and television don't do justice to "the size and the calibre and the footprint of the environmental impact."

Others, like Council of Canadians chairwoman Maude Barlow, have visited the oil sands and compared the development to "Mordor," a fictional land from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings books.

Yes, both Poitras and Barlow are right, this natural oil spill is truly like nothing anyone has ever seen, and it should be cleaned up!

Other environmentalists agree that Avatar could have been shot at the oil sands.

As the CBC reported on March 5, a coalition of environmental groups took the allegory one step further, placing an ad in the film industry publication Variety that cast Canada’s Alberta tar sands as the real world’s unobtanium. the ad, paid for by 50 environmental groups, featured an aerial photograph of a massive oil sands site, where excavation had removed all signs of life, leaving only a huge field of brown sand dotted with man-made hills and pits. Title text labels the photo “Canada’s Avatar Sands.” for the groups who took out the ad, the bitumen (a chemical precursor to crude oil) trapped in the tar sands of northern Alberta is real-life unobtanium, and the environmental destruction it has brought to the plains and forests of Canada parallels the tragic and heartless plundering of Pandora.

Would environmentalists let the oil spilling into the ocean from the oil rig that sunk continue, without cleaning it up? NO! So should we allow oil to continue to seep into our rivers and potentially hurt the people downstream? Any dedicated environmentalist will tell you NO! Any oil spill must be cleaned up. Now, just because it was Mother Nature that produced the spill, is no reason to not clean it up.

Proudly, Albertans are embarking on cleaning up the biggest natural oil spill that has ever been seen on earth! We are taking sand saturated in oil and extracting that messy oil from the sand so that it will not continue to seep into our rivers, as it has been doing for thousands of years.



Look closely at that picture, nothing can grow in that oil seeped sand, but the environmentalists will not tell you that, it would distort their message. Try an experiment, take some sand, and some oil, put them in a container and then plant some seeds, any seeds, (try grass or dill) and see if anything grows. Right, I thought not.

What bothers me is that the First Nations people are playing both sides of the fence to feather their nests, and they still want us to think they are the victims. The oil companies pay them royally, then the First Nations turn around and sue them to get more money, and the environmental groups support them with more money. It's quite a racket, but it is legal. So why are our First Nations people still living in poverty? Who is taking all the royalty money? It's a mystery.

Try going to some of the companies sites to see what they are doing to be environmentally friendly and support aboriginals. Do not only listen to those shrill eco-nuts, they have done more harm with their campaigns against DDT, killing millions of Africans from malaria, to corn for eco-fuel, starving millions of people in third world countries. These are the people we should listen to? WHY?

So, Cameron, come on down, and tell us how we should clean up the biggest oil spill this world has ever seen.

The Liberals Locked Into Graves Strategy!

Iggy made it to a high school in Saskatchewan to tell them to learn to speak French. I guess those rural kids should learn it while milking the cows, mucking the barns (Iggy has been in one!), and driving the tractors while planting this spring, because, well, they just might want to be a Supreme Court judge one day.

Oh, and forget about having that nasty gun handy if a bear shows up, especially if the gun isn't registered. The bear will report you to the nearest mortuary...oops police officer.

Could this guy be anymore out of touch than Dion eating a hot dog with a knife and fork? He is following the Graves strategy to a better more divided Canada, but it will be a Liberal Canada.

In his advice, Mr. Graves could hardly have been more blunt. “I told them that they should invoke a culture war. Cosmopolitanism versus parochialism, secularism versus moralism, Obama versus Palin, tolerance versus racism and homophobia, democracy versus autocracy. If the cranky old men in Alberta don’t like it, too bad. Go south and vote for Palin.”

What a nice Conservative ad this will be for the next election! They will even be able to use real tape showing that he stood by his words, until he realized the damage it would do to his company, EKOS. So far, I have it Rahim $0, EKOS $61 million, yes $61 MILLION.



I think Graves was truly blindsided by Kory because Liberals never think they are going to be held to account for their actions. Even here in Conservative Alberta, the Liberals spout endlessly about what is wrong with the Conservative government, and Conservatives just ignore them. I can't imagine what it is like in a non-Conservative province.

Is the media reporting on Graves? Are they following him to his cottage? Who is the media after? Helena of course.

Will Iggy continue to use Graves strategy, to divide Canada? I think yes. So far we have:

1. Abortion for developing countries paid by us.
2. Support of the gun registry.
3. French for judges.
4. Promoting "scandals".
5. Demonize our troops.

Alberta will be the whipping province, as per usual, because the Liberals have nothing to lose by demonizing us. They have no seats here, and no hope of getting any soon. This has been the case since Trudeau imposed the NEP on Albertans. The Liberals are counting on Ontario, Quebec and the Atlantic provinces to gain power again. Too bad that most of Ontario outside of the GTA is more Conservative than Liberal. Now that Danny has shut up, Newfoundland might go back to the Conservatives, and this could be the majority that is needed.

After watching the opposition in action against Rahim and how much power the committees have to force Canadians to their will, while hiding behind parliamentary privilege, we need a clear majority next time or a coalition will become a reality, and that will be a disaster for Canada. The committees already have a majority for the lefties, and that is why nothing is being done. The Afghan committee has still not gone to Afghanistan to see what is really happening, they are too intent on demonizing our troops for turning over Afghanistan prisoners to the Afghan government.

The Liberals are going to continue dividing Canada with their "policies" and it could mean the death of the Canada we know and love.

Friday Night Funnies: The Future of Shopping

PUNS FOR "EDUCATED" MINDS


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects !

19. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion
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When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'

[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made
by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone
so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in you r favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface
so that it will not become chipped or broken.


Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!
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EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I checked into my motel, I said to the lady at the desk:

"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick b%stard."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Future of Shopping....Think about this, no more change rooms!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a great weekend!

Liberals Dividing Canadians To Win Power!

Thanks to Sort of Political, I was able to capture this tasty bit of video.



Kory destroys Graves. I am amazed that CBC let that happen. How can a pollster maintain his impartiality if he gives advise to the Liberals? CBC pays for his company to do polls for them, with taxpayer money.

“Does the CBC share Mr. Graves’ call for a “culture war” that pits Canadian against Canadian?”

The article quotes Graves spouting advice to the Liberal Party of Canada.

“I told them that they should invoke a culture war. Cosmopolitanism versus parochialism, secularism versus moralism, Obama versus Palin, tolerance versus racism and homophobia, democracy versus autocracy,” Graves is quoted in the story. “If the cranky old men in Alberta don’t like it, too bad. Go south and vote for Palin.”

Graves is president and founder of national polling firm EKOS Research Associates and a frequent media commentator on national issues.

He is also a frequent Liberal Party contributor.

Since 2001, Graves has donated at least $11,042.72 to the Liberals, according to the Elections Canada website, including money toward the leadership campaigns of current party leader Michael Ignatieff and leadership candidate Bob Rae. He also gave $449.04 to Paul Benoit, the Conservative candidate for Ottawa Vanier, in 2006.

Graves could not be reached directly for comment.

Kory is correct, state your political affiliation before you come on any TV station, radio show, or blog, so that voters can weigh that into what you say, this should be mandatory for all journalists and experts.

As for the Alberta comments, does Graves not realize that the CBC is able to hire him to poll people because Alberta does such a good job at keeping the economy of Canada running? I am tired of lefties accepting Quebec separatists while slamming Alberta, the province that is truly devoted to our monarchy and Canada.

Liberals pitting urban against rural...seriously? Do the urban people want fresh food? Let the Cosmopolitanism supporters eat what is grown in their city, no fresh produce for you sophisticates, no milk, no cheese, and seeing as those cosmopolitan people hate killing stuff, definitely no meat.

Liberals think nothing of dividing Canadians, it started with Trudeau giving the west the finger and the NEP, it carried on with Chretian ignoring the west and the military for over 10 years, and Iggy seems to be carrying on the ignore the west theme with the "whipping" of his MP's to vote against scrapping the gun registry. He is pandering to the feminists and anti-war crowd.

I have faith in Canadians from all across Canada to understand what the Liberals are trying to do, divide our great country, to gain power. How is Gilles going on the Canadian tour to get support for separatism any different from what the Liberals are doing?

The Railroading of a Canadian Citizen!

This parliamentary committee's actions should chill every Canadian citizen to the bone. Democracy went on a walkabout today, and the railroading of a Canadian citizen was so despicable, I was in shock after watching it happen right before my eyes.

This is a good indication of what a coalition government would look like. Only those who agree with the lefties will be listened to, all others will be shut down and threatened with contempt. Watch for the smirks on the faces of Martin and the Chairman (what an incompetent but she is a Liberal).



If watching this video does not make you afraid of the power that MP's have to stifle free speech of citizens....you are the problem. Maybe Jaffer deserves some flack, but his business partner Glemaud should not have been attacked and threatened with contempt.

NDP MP Pat Martin, didn't want this to become a circus, and then proceeded to turn it into one. I hope Winnipeg wakes up next election. His performance was vomit worth. He played to the camera and didn't really care that they were beating up on a Canadian citizen. China come so mind.

I also want to call out the Conservatives on this committee, they were just as bad as the opposition, if not worse. I lost a lot of respect for Lukiwski, who himself has been a target of the opposition and should have had some idea of what Rahim and Helena are going through. I guess power does corrupt. I was most disgusted by the Conservatives today. You might win a few lefty votes with your attempt to distance yourselves from Rahim, but you lost way more because you did not stand by your principles. You failed.

No majority is worth winning if you win it by compromising your own core principles.

Glemaud worked in government for the Liberals, but it's funny that he decided to run as a Conservative in the last election, he became a lefty tar get. They have no revenues, how can they be lobbying government with no clients? That will not stop the coalition from finding him guilty of being a Conservative.

Getting In On The Socialist Bandwagon!

I have become an artist tonight, really! I call it "Seeing Eye Puppy Art!" I will be applying for a grant to document the journey of the seeing eye puppy from baby to adult. I figure $30,000 should just about cover it.

My first creation is called "Seeing eye puppy being strangled by a life of hardship trying to adapt to the human world and all the laws and restrictions"



Now if that is not creative enough, my second creation, or should I say the puppy's creation, is titled, "Seeing eye puppy getting the hang of living in a restrictive world where humans are the oppressors."


Now, it's hard to live off of $30,000 a year, so I am also applying for a grant for my grow op.



Seeing as the new fad is to buy produce within a 100 mile limit, my tomato plants should net me at least another $30,000 in grants. My research paper will be "Growing tomatoes in the sub-arctic climate without disturbing the ecosystem around people who have no clue about growing a garden."

I am also applying for a grant of $30,000 to study the effects of urban displacement of sparrows from their bird houses when a cat moves into the neighbourhood.

Finally, I am starting a woman's group, called "Women, how to get out of the kitchen and into the malls; the art of shopping until you drop, and how to do it while looking like a million bucks" This should net the new organization (me) at least another $30,000.

Just wait until they legalize marijuana! I have all sorts of ideas on how to suck more money out of the government, like "Teaching kids the difference between a tomato plant and a pot plant, and how smoking a tomato plant can damage your brain while marijuana is okay." "Growing your own pot can be difficult unless your parents think it is a tomato plant". "Why your marijuana plant is turning brown and when is the best time to water it." "What to do with those pesky seeds that disrupt the growth of the pot plant, or are those actually tomatoes?"

I figure that I can net about $100,000 in one year for doing nothing but pretend that I am an expert of baffle gab.

So, how am I doing so far? I have the artist angle covered, the environmental angle covered, the legalize drugs angle covered, now, what am I missing?

Oh, right, the study on how to integrate into an eastern (Toronto)society while being a female who accidentally reveals her toe in public and has it cause a great disruption in the zen life of the eastern male, making them unable to think for the next 2 days.

Okay, I think I have everything covered now. Can't wait for the arts and science research money to start flowing into my pocket...any time now!

Hey, it's easy to be a socialist, all that free taxpayer money! I prefer to be an independent female who doesn't need any government handouts to succeed!

Lewis Mackenzie for GG!

I haven't weighed in yet on my pick for GG, my pick is Lewis Mackenzie. He is first of all a strong supporter of our military. He loves Canada. He is a no nonsense kind of guy, but is normally very diplomatic. He is also very outspoken and does not suffer fools, ever. Enough of the CBC female reporters for GG, even though I really like Jean, it's time for a strong male military GG, and that would be Lewis Mackenzie.

This is one of the best interviews I have ever seen him give. He totally destroys the lawyer Attaran. I really wonder what Attaran's problem with Canada is, and why is his face red throughout the interview? Is he not used to getting questioned about his support of anti-Canada people?

Lewis Mackenzie destroys Attaran.

Who to believe, an Afghan who saw nothing happen first hand, or the Chief of the Defense Staff? This lawyer has an ax to grind, he likes to listen to himself, and thinks his sh&t doesn't stink. He also wants detailed information released while our troops are still in Afghanistan. I wonder if Attaran knows Warman, they seem to be birds of a feather.

Attaran wraps himself in "law" and Lewis calls him on it. It is a must see interview.

I hope PM Harper sees this interview, because if he does, he will know that Lewis Mackenzie is the perfect candidate for the GG position. He will protect our troops and our country from lawyers who are more interested in condemning our troops and scoring some face time on CTV, Canada's home for gossip!

Attaran gives me the creepy crawler feeling every time I see him. He is NEVER defending Canada or Canadians, and that says a lot to me.

Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

Journalists are obviously not doing their jobs. When "Doorknobs" Easter first yelled about his anonymous Liberal spy at the PEI airport, journalists should have jumped to get the security tape of the incident. They did not. Yet the tazer incident at the Vancouver airport was on the news within hours.

Considering that PEI only has 120,000 people in total, and probably only 50 work at the airport, you would think that someone would have figured out who the squealer is. Believe me, everyone knows everyone in PEI. So, why hasn't the letter writer come forward? The people of PEI should be embarrassed by this persons lack of balls and accountability for the pain they have caused to Helena. I wonder if now that they know she had just suffered her second miscarriage, if they feel any remorse for what was by all accounts a politically motivated slime job of Minister Helena.

The people of PEI should listen to their Premier when he tells them that Minister Shea had nothing to do with a contract awarded to her son-in-laws firm. He is one of the few honest Liberals they are going to meet.

I remember a night out in PEI, where "Hang Em High" Liberal MP Shawn Murphy was working the bar, charming all the "cougars". They were loving the attention, and will vote for him again because he is such a good guy. That's all it takes in PEI, drinks at the bar.

When he came our way and he found out we were from Alberta, he yapped about how partisan our Alberta MP's are, and showed none of the friendly PEI hospitality we love so much. He's not the worst of the 4 PEI MP's, Wayne Easter has to take that title. How is it that PEI gets 4 MP's for 120,000 people but other MP's have 120,000 per riding? Even my PEI relatives are embarrassed about that situation.

I want the person that wrote to Wayne Easter to come forward, with the tape of the incident, or at the very least the RCMP should investigate that person. That person needs to take responsibility for starting a witch hunt against Helena, for purely partisan reasons. So, "Hang Em High" Murphy can call Albertans partisan all he wants, but when it comes right down to it, PEI is showing what Liberal toadies they really are, and they should be calling Wayne Easter to task.

Some Babies Count More Than Others!

I know that recently gender selection has been an issue in the news. How sad that some babies are considered more precious than others. How sad that some women are so selfish that they consider their body more important than any baby they might have had, and that abortion is an option no matter what their situation. This is not the sixties anymore when an unwanted pregnancy was considered a stain on a young girls life. Where would the US be right now if Obama's 17 year old mother had aborted him?

Here is a story that should warm all our hearts.

"I wake up in the morning and I see her big smile and think, "I'm so happy I get to spend another day with you, I get to see what you're going to show me today," says her mother, Vicki McKenzie, 32. "Every day with her is a birthday for us."

A year ago, Vicki and her husband, Ian, 33, had no idea whether their baby was going to survive one minute out of the womb, let alone one year. In March 2009, at 30 weeks gestation, doctors at the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario in Ottawa discovered the baby had a heart condition called critical aortic stenosis, which causes a narrowing of the main outlet valve in the left ventricle. Without treatment, the baby would likely die of heart failure before or during birth.

Everyday is special for this family. There was no, my body, my choice garbage. It was all about, my baby, whatever I can do to save her. They did everything they could to help this precious baby girl survive. I applaud them, and hope it all works out for them.

It really highlights the selfishness of women who think their bodies are more important than their babies. Remember how years ago it was considered okay to sterilize females who were mentally deficient because they might have mentally deficient children. We cringe about that now. We think we are so modern and sophisticated, that we have evolved as a society, when in fact we have regressed. Now we are not sterilizing the mentally deficient anymore, but we as a society are condoning the death of perfectly healthy babies because the mother doesn't want stretch marks, or the responsibility of raising a child on their own.

We are not more "progressive", we are regressive, and we should be ashamed that we are too scared of the radical left feminists to even enact a law that would protect babies after 20 weeks. Think about it, 20 weeks is over 4 months of pregnancy, this is not a blob of cells anymore, ask any mother who has heard their babies heartbeat, whether that is a blob of cells or a baby.

Feminists refuse to evolve. They chant "my body, my choice" like little robots without feeling, or a sense of what damage they do to society and themselves by not just condoning abortion but promoting it as a method of birth control.

When finally some politician has the balls to stand up for the unborn children that are being slaughtered, our society will be able to move forward. Right now the opposition is more concerned about protecting terrorists than they are about protecting our most precious resource, unborn babies.

Gender selection is not the problem, allowing abortion up until the point of birth is the problem. We should be ashamed as a nation that we allow that to happen. And for the feminists that will tell us that late term abortions are rare, well so too are women that are raped who get pregnant. I would like to see a study done on how many women who are raped actually get pregnant.

Let's be "progressive" and ban abortions. After all, we know how lefties love to ban stuff, and this would be one ban I could get behind 100%!

Friday Night Funnies: Urban Cowboy

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A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

'From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.

The next night he came home from work and yelled

' BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled ' BELL 3!', they began making love.



After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'

'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?

'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied'
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!'
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the-orangutan-and-the-hound

TEN PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS

'1'
Blaming your farts on me.
Not funny -- not funny at all !!!
----------------------------------------------
'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A DAMN DOG.
--------------------------------------------------
'3'
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this, anyway?
--------------------------------------------------
'4'
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.
Stop it!
--------------------------------------------------
'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
--------------------------------------------------
'6'
The sleight-of-hand, fake fetch-throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo hoooooooo!
What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
--------------------------------------------------
'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
--------------------------------------------------
'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
--------------------------------------------------
'9'
Dog sweaters.
Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
--------------------------------------------------
'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
--------------------------------------------------
Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop, do you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday...
even the calendar says



W T F!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him,
"We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
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Obama Supporter:


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became
aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to
come up to the height of the first step of the bus..

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg
She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the
second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind
to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing
behind her picked her up easily by the waist
and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the
would-be Samaritan
and yelled,
'How dare you touch my body!
I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled,
'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you,
but after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Just in Case You Get a Cheque....
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate. This is a very exciting program from the Ontario and BC governments. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
------------------------
Q. What is Ontario 's or BC’s Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.
Q.. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala ..
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in Canada by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in Canada .

Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Letter to Jessie James:
You stupid bast^%d! You cheated on Sandra Bullock???
How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world.
She has a body to die for and her current wealth over-shadowed only by Oprah.
Your wife recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now named "America's Sweetheart."
You also remember she just won an Oscar and praised you up and down in front of the world while you were porkin’ away.
You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet!
How can you live with yourself!
I only have one thing to say to the despicable, miserable, cheating piece of shit that you are:
Thanks for taking the heat off me. Let’s do lunch.

~Tiger
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Have a great weekend, it's going to be 20C here, so I am breaking out the shorts, or NOT!

The Canadian Press...A Tale Well Told?

A tale well told? The Canadian Press thinks they are fiction novel writers not journalists! Yikes! They go on to prove it with their articles. These are just two from today that I happened to read.

First up, Sarah Palin in Hamilton. Remember the values of the Canadian Press:



They vow to "Stick to the facts without editorial opinion or comment. Reporters’ opinions are not wanted in The Canadian Press copy. Their observations are.

Be impartial when handling any news affecting parties or matters in controversy. Give fair representation to all sides at issue."

The Canadian Press

Date: Thu. Apr. 15 2010 8:25 PM ET

HAMILTON — Sarah Palin brought her neo-con star power to Canada for a $200-a-plate fundraiser Thursday that drew both fans of the former U.S. vice-presidential candidate and the undecided.

Is the term "neo-con" a fact? Or is it an opinion? So much for sticking to the facts and only the facts! The Canadian Press just couldn't help itself and showed it's Liberal bias by inserting the term "neo-con" into their article.

Next, we have a whole story that is just garbage, and should be considered tabloid material.



This is what the Canadian Press calls "ethical behaviour"?

"Pride in yourself and in the practice of journalism nourishes ethical behaviour."

Guergis had a history in the clubs with hometown playboy: acquaintance



I had to screen capture this because a simple copy like below somehow left out the "Canadian Press" logo, so even they don't seem to want to acknowledge their own article!

JENNIFER DITCHBURN
April 15, 2010 6:58 p.m.

OTTAWA - Helena Guergis may have nurtured the image of a straightlaced cabinet minister on Parliament Hill, but people who knew her in younger days paint a picture of a regular club-goer often seen on the arm of a hometown playboy.

....

Sources say Guergis was in a serious relationship in the late '90s with a well-known playboy in Barrie, Ont., a promoter who was a fixture in the local party scene and later owned a popular local strip club.

A source who knew both Shane Alkerton and Guergis well told The Canadian Press their love affair was a tumultuous "soap opera" that spanned many years, but ended before she entered politics.

So, 20 YEARS AGO, Helena had a "playboy" boyfriend? This is "ethical" reporting? Are you kidding me? What a smear job by the Canadian Press. It's disgusting and the main reason that no one is buying newspapers anymore.

Funny how it was two Conservative women that the Canadian Press targeted with their "ethical" point of view.

A tale well told? Or a bedtime story with fairies and leprechauns? The Canadian Press should be embarrassed at their biased and non-ethical coverage of both stories.

They are just as bad as CTV:

At least CTV admits it is Canada's Home for Gossip, maybe the other stations/news providers should get with the 12 step program and cure themselves.

Shut Down The Oil Sands! They Shout!

Funny how the environmentalists yap about big oil granting so much money to the "deniers" and fail to tell us where their money is coming from. Here is a group that is taking a complaint about the oil sands to NAFTA. Notice that the government of Canada has actually given them money. Taxpayer money going to try to shut down the oil sands? Now this is a real scandal!

Canada faces NAFTA complaint over oil sands

In the latest move in a long-running campaign to highlight the impact of oil sands development, the submission by Environmental Defence Canada, Natural Resources Defense Council and three citizens charges that toxic tailings ponds are being allowed to leak and contaminate ground water.

So, Canadian environmental groups are trying to get NAFTA to shut down the oil sands. Where do they get their money? Take a look:



Industry Canada and Public Works Canada.....that's our tax dollars being used to sue the Canadian government. Also notice TD Friends of the environment. Want to see the board of directors?


That Suzuki guy gets around now doesn't he! Environmental Defence's Annual Report is interesting in that they provide no details about how they spent the money.




Wow! How did they increase their revenues so quickly? I don't know, their annual report is more of a propaganda report than it is a financial report. How do they get away with that? Can we send Sheila Fraser in to audit them? They did get federal money, so she should be allowed to determine how they used it.

Cut off the money NOW! If the City of Toronto wants to give them money, fine, but they should get NO federal tax dollars. If they keep up their attacks against the economic engine of Canada, they just might get their wish. I would love to shut down the oil sands for as long as it takes to make both eastern Canada and the US lefties to scream uncle. It would be payback for Trudeau and the NEP.

Maybe Environmental Defence should worry about the pollution of Toronto, all those smog alerts can't be good, but living in Alberta I couldn't tell you because we have never had a smog alert. So who are the polluters? You know all those people, six million isn't it, all crammed into one small area in Toronto, the pollution from that many people is a huge problem. Maybe Environmental Defence could look into that, oh and while they are at it, maybe they could pressure McGuinty to close down Nanticook, which spews more pollution than all of the oil sands development. I guess econuts don't sh*t in their own houses. How about they go to China and protest all the polluting coal plants they are building. Right, I thought not, they love communists and hate Canada, why else would they sue Canada with taxpayer funds?

I want to know how big the grants are from Industry Canada and Public Works, and who authorized it. Cut Environmental Defence's grants TODAY!

A Long Tradition Of Bullying!

So, I was watching some of the videos I have captured of question period, and it appears that the bully boys have been after Helena since 2009, way before the Rahim arrest. Can we call it targeted assassination of female Conservative MP's abilities yet? Here are a few samples:





And then we get the biggest bully boy/girl, Dr. Bennett



Then she gets into big trouble and refuses to apologize for her behaviour:

Part 1:


Part 2:


It is clear that the opposition target female Conservative MP's. They had it in for Helena and the media are continuing to follow the Liberal lead and smear her no matter what the evidence might turn out to be. Personally, as a female, I am disgusted.

The Iceman, has the goods on the reason the charges were dropped against Rahim, it seems the police DENIED him his right to talk to his lawyers, a very big no no.

No wonder females don't go into politics. Why leave your children just to get smeared by the bully opposition.

Lefty MP's Attack Female Conservative MP's

It's getting to be a pattern with the lefty MP's, they seem to be so weak that they have to attack female Conservative MP's.

Let's start with Iggy, today in the House, he attacked the government over not releasing any details about the mysterious third party that caused the PM to call in the RCMP on the Helena case. Hey Iggy, grab a clue, it's under investigation now, meaning no facts can be released until the issue is settled or charges have been laid. Layton continued the attack, and I thought the NDP were all about gender equality!

Then some Bloc MP was trying to attack the Minister of Fisheries about some supposed conflict of interest. She shot him down with facts, but lefties never let facts get in the way of a good smear.

Then, they called a point of order because Minister Rona had taken a picture during question period. She got up and said it was a mistake and that even though it showed the opposition hard at work she had deleted it. Too funny!

This was only one day and three females were attacked by the opposition. I guess they aren't looking for the female vote then.

As a female, I am sickened by the attacks on female MP's. It makes the male MP's look like power hungry hyenas. It's no wonder that the female vote has been transferring to the Conservatives lately. The lefties are so busy listening to the feminists that they don't realize how they appear to the normal females in Canada. The Liberals botched abortion vote is a prime example of listening only to lefty feminists and not your everyday working Mother or stay at home Mom or Grandmother.

If the opposition keep on attacking female Conservative MP's, they will lose a huge percent of the female vote. Sure, they might keep the 10% of feminists, but if they were true feminists, they would be speaking out right now about the extended attacks on females by the opposition.

What I saw when I happened to watch question period today was disgusting. From Iggy the supposed leader of the Liberals to Bloc MP's to NDP MP's and if the Greens actually had a seat in the House, I bet they would have been howling too.

Listen up you useless opposition MP's, you look like male predators. You are scoring no points with females. But, heck, don't listen to me, I'm only a Conservative female.

The Liberal party is using the same tactics as the Liberal bloggers used against me. Swarm my site with lefty comments until they forced me to put on comment moderation, then cry that I won't allow them their freedom of speech on my blog.

I'm chuckling now because they forced me to put on comment moderation, and now they have no voice on my blog unless I allow it. They have actually given me more power than I had before they harassed me into comment moderation.

Keep up the great work opposition parties, I'm sure females are looking at your parties and thinking of voting for you, because you respect women so much, you yell and scream at them during question period. What was the term we used to use....Male Chauvinist Pigs? Is that politically incorrect these days? Maybe it should be taken out of the mothballs and be dusted off for the opposition.