Saturday, December 04, 2010

Friday Night Funnies: Check For Alzheimer's

 My house is on the right!

Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of

Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read

each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is fart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat..

12. This is seconds cat.

I was perfect, my hubby made one mistake. You do have to say it aloud, it keeps you focused. To see what that means for your future, check back later in the blog.

Why is it that every time I hear about TSA, I immediately think Tits and ass? Maybe this is a clue... 

 Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the
door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first
the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left.  He then hunches his
shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall
down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.  Then, grabbing
both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt
underneath.  With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and
hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing,
Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously
embarrassed Billy Bob.  "But me'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in
the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do 'something sexy to
a tractor'."

[Don't make me 'splain this to you!]
Check for Alzheimer's answer.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from

the top down and I bet you cannot resist passing it on .

Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland

 Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

 The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

 As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'

 'It's a fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'He needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'

 The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

 About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

 The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! And she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

 The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!' 

 'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!' 

 The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

This is undoubtedly the most expressive picture I've ever seen of an animal...
  You can almost hear him say these words:
  "You want me to do whaaaaat?"
  The look on this dog's face is priceless...
Two feet of snow.....
_____________________________________________________________________Jus wundifool.......besdvice I eber hud

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.  So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.

Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.

Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.
Want to get in touch with your inner self? Try this, it's pretty accurate. Now can anyone help me put back splash on? Right, thought so, you are suddenly all too busy! If you don't hear from me, it's because I've glued myself to the kitchen wall! HA! Have a great weekend! Can you feel the Christmas tingle up your leg yet?

1 comment:

West Coast Teddi said...

Thanks for the FNF ... the only "splash" I can help you with is when the ice hits the scotch!!

Think CHRISTMAS all the time!!