Friday, December 31, 2010

Friday Night Funnies: Mute Munks Sing!

Jack Daniel's New Years Eve Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jack Daniel's Sour Mash Whiskey

Sample the Whiskey to check quality. Take a large bowl, Check the Whiskey again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Whiskey is still ok, try another Cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
In the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry

It loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet.  
Check the Whiskey.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall Over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Jack Daniel's and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Happy New Year!!!
Here are some funny Youtube videos that require no thinking. I'm pretty sure some of you just want to veg out after your New Year's parties, so here goes:

Then we have this one, the mute monks sing. It might be hard on your head, so turn the volume down. HA!

And, for all of you who drank too much last night, I suspect that you might feel something like this lady did:

New text codes for seniors in 2011:

STC (Senior Texting Code)

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing.... Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)
 For all you hungover males, this should wake you up:

 All us women realize she's going to be in big droopy trouble in a few painful years.
Got to go, it's close to midnight and I need to keep the 5 teenagers from making too much noise!

May this year be better than last year for all of us! Happy New Year!! Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving comments, it makes me want to continue doing it!


Patsplace said...

I just about died laughing. By the time I got to the watermelon launch, the game must go on...I'm still killing myself.

Thanks and Happy New Year

West Coast Teddi said...

The NYC ball dropped at 9pm on the west coast - perfect timing to get a good nights sleep and be up "bright" and early for Friday Night Funnies

Thanks and HNYear Every1

JR said...

Too funny! Thanks and Happy New Year, hunter!

Raphael Alexander said...

Pow! Right in the kisser!

That's going to leave a mark.

Jim Carrey is hilarious too.