Saturday, July 09, 2011

Friday Night Funnies: Disappearing Car.


A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's rectangular and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a rectangular mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go, I didn't realize you were a cop.

Don't ever park illegally in England, no matter what the reason!

 They sent my Census form back!!

In answer to the question, 'Do you have any dependents?',

I put .......
                 '12 million illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployable *%&**!, the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 140,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in California, leftovers from Katrina, half of Mexico, Some of the Congress, most of the Senate and a Muslim President!'
.................. Apparently this wasn't an acceptable answer

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions,
and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most
handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident,
sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...Sorry...

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.
This is worth the wait is you don't have hi-speed internet!

Have a great weekend! So far we have rain, then mosquitoes, then more rain, REPEAT!

1 comment:

West Coast Teddi said...

Have a great weekend and the rest of the week as well - thanks for the FNF.