Friday Night Funnies: Mute Munks Sing!

Jack Daniel's New Years Eve Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jack Daniel's Sour Mash Whiskey

Sample the Whiskey to check quality. Take a large bowl, Check the Whiskey again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer
 
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Whiskey is still ok, try another Cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck
 
In the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner.


If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry

It loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a sheet.  
Check the Whiskey.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall Over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.


Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Jack Daniel's and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.

Happy New Year!!!
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Here are some funny Youtube videos that require no thinking. I'm pretty sure some of you just want to veg out after your New Year's parties, so here goes:



Then we have this one, the mute monks sing. It might be hard on your head, so turn the volume down. HA!



And, for all of you who drank too much last night, I suspect that you might feel something like this lady did:


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New text codes for seniors in 2011:

STC (Senior Texting Code)

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing.... Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)
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 For all you hungover males, this should wake you up:

 All us women realize she's going to be in big droopy trouble in a few painful years.
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Got to go, it's close to midnight and I need to keep the 5 teenagers from making too much noise!

May this year be better than last year for all of us! Happy New Year!! Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving comments, it makes me want to continue doing it!

The Silenced Majority.

My parents arrived safely from Kelowna therefore blogging will be intermittent for the next week. We are busy slowly thawing them out over a open fire, they should be alert by Christmas Eve!  Family is more important than blogging, I will attempt to post, but don't expect much until they leave.

Talking to my Liberal Mom and Dad, they are as worried as I am about the lack of respect for Christians that is occurring in Canada today. They can't understand how minorities get listened to by the media while the majority is silenced. It is no longer the silent majority, it is the silenced majority.

Support Israel, you are a racist. Support traditional marriage, you are a homo-scardy-cat red-necked intolerant gun welding Christian.

Yikes, did I say Christian? Is that term still allowed on campuses? Are free debates about abortion allowed on campuses? Debates on Islam, the religion of peace, should be enlightening, if they were allowed! Free speech only if you agree with my point of view. Sad really.



Every Christmas, is a Merry Christmas. Don't let stupid political opinions divide your family at this time of year. Merry Christmas to all my readers, thank you for your support and comments (I love the comments, keep them coming, they are your chance to voice your opinion on issues). I will try to post between the perogies on Christmas Eve and the turkey on Christmas day. If not, may your family be together, in love this year.

The Eclipse and A Snopes Story.

Watching the eclipse, on this cold winter night, you have to know something more powerful than us puny humans is at work. Climate change, bah humbug! A vast, wonderful universe we have only begun to understand? How about we just enjoy it, and let those of us who feel our universe is just too perfect to have happened by accident, celebrate Christmas with prayer.

[Collected via e-mail, December 2004]

Paul Harvey says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution.

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game.

So what's the big deal?

It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

"But it's a Christian prayer," some will argue.

Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect — somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.

And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit.

When in Rome ...

"But what about the atheists?" is another argument.

What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!

Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do.

I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating; to pray before we go to sleep.

Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well ... just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard ... that the vast majority don't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray; you don't have to say the pledge of allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right. But by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back ... and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... especially those who denounce Him. God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all.

God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

May 2005 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions.

Keep looking up.
 

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[Collected via e-mail, January 2009]

Paul Harvey and Prayer

Paul Harvey says:
This is the United States of America , a country founded on Christian principles.

One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we tell that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority doesn't care what they want. It is time that the majority rules! It's time we tell them, You don't have to pray; you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right; but by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back, and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... Especially those who worship Him, God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our military who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

Let's make 2009 the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions .. And our military forces come home from all the wars.

Keep looking up.

 

Origins:   Often titled "Paul Harvey and Prayer," the piece listed above has been circulating on the Internet since 2000. Although it has been variously attributed to long-time radio commentator Paul Harvey, political commentator Andy Rooney, and to someone named Samuel Thompson, most of it is the work of Nick Gholson, a sports writer for the Times Record News in Wichita Falls, Texas. Gholson's September 1999 essay (which was a fair bit longer than the version later circulated via

e-mail) decried the prohibition against school-led prayer at high school football games. It kicked off with a few paragraphs about the need for a sense of humor which prefaced the following bit, leading into the Internet-circulated version's "I don't believe in Santa Claus ..." opening:

Take this prayer deal. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Some atheist goes to a high school football game, hears a kid say a short prayer before the game and gets offended. So he hires a lawyer and goes to court and asks somebody to pay him a whole bunch of money for all the damage done to him.

You would have thought the kid kicked him in the crotch.

Damaged for life by a 30-second prayer? Am I missing something here?

I don't believe in Santa Claus ....

Also excised from versions now in circulation was the following section, which contained references to national sports events and figures of the day as well as teams local to Wichita Falls:

I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations. Nor do I believe that not praying will result in more serious injuries on the field or more fatal car crashes after the game.

In fact, I'm not so sure God would even be at all these games if he didn't have to be. That's just one of the down sides of omnipresence. Do you think God Almighty himself would have watched Spearman beat Panhandle 50-0 Friday night if he didn't have to?

If God really liked sports, the Russians would never have won a single gold medal, New York would never play in a World Series and Deion's toe would be healed by now.

Though most of the Internet-circulated version of this essay is undeniably the work of Nick Gholson, its ending is not. Gholson's 1999 column about prayer at football games terminated with " ... well, just sue me." The part which now lies beyond that (quoted below) was penned in 2003 by someone unknown to us:

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard ... that the vast majority don't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray; you don't have to say the pledge of allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right. But by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back ... and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... especially those who denounce Him. God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all.

God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.

May 2005 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions.

Keep looking up.

Somewhere during the course of its murky textual history, the Gholson/unknown author patchwork came to be attributed to Paul Harvey. This misapprehension has in turn been helped along by its appearance in the print media (e.g., a December 2004 letter to the editor of the Denver Post made this declaration). Paul Harvey, the popular radio personality best known for his "Rest of the Story" offerings, has at various times had a number of Internet-circulated essays mistakenly laid at his feet, including These Things I Wish for You (a postulation of adversity's being good for children), The Man Without a Face (false tale that a horrible experience in Mel Gibson's life inspired the film of that name), and a glowing review of the 2004 film The Passion.

Barbara "paul bearers" Mikkelson

Last updated:   12 July 2009
The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/prayer.asp

Urban Legends Reference Pages © 1995-2010 by Barbara and David P. Mikkelson.
This material may not be reproduced without permission.
snopes and the snopes.com logo are registered service marks of snopes.com.

Sources:

    Gholson, Nick.   "Taking Offense at Prayer? God Help Us."

    [Wichita Falls] Times Record News.   5 September 1999.

    Nelson, Rose Mary.   "The Open Forum — Letters to the Editor."

    The Denver Post.   5 December 2004   (p. E2).

    Times Record News.   "Internet Can Be Questionable Source for Facts in Some Cases."

    29 December 2004.

 You might want to read this while listening to some old fashioned CHRISTMAS songs from the 50's!

Can people just celebrate the joy of Christmas? If you don't celebrate Christmas, great, but don't make us change our celebration because you are a non-believer. Just soak up the feeling of Christmas, and the goodwill that surrounds us at this time. Merry Christmas!

Christmas And Traditional Food Recipes.

Due to popular demand.....okay, one person asked for my perogy recipe....it's time for a recipe exchange!

Christmas Eve is a "meatless" meal in our house. We start with dessert, a sweetened wheat, then on to the cabbage (sauerkraut) soup then the main course with salmon and perogies. Off to midnight Mass and when we get back it's usually ham sandwiches and opening one present.

Here is my recipe for perogies. The dough is the most important.

Perogy Dough

8 cups potato water
1 cup oil
3 beaten eggs
12 cups of flour

Mix it all up then add

10 cups of flour

This makes a huge amount of perogies so make sure you have helpers. You can freeze any left over dough for next time.

The most popular filling is mashed potatoes (keep the potato water for the dough) and cheddar cheese. Put the grated cheese into the potatoes when they are still hot so the cheese melts. I also do sauerkraut filling: fry bacon and onions, cool and then add to potatoes and sauerkraut.  Roll out the dough (the less you handle it the better) cut out circles, fill making sure you have closed all ends, and boil until they pop to the surface, usually 3 to 4 minutes. Serve with onions and sour cream.

Of course the best part about Christmas is all the treats! My reader and contributor to FNF's SOR sent me this wonderful recipe, which I'll make today.

Oreo Cookie Truffles

1 box oreo cookies

1 package cream cheese

chocolate melting wafers (I use half milk and half dark) found in the bulk section of grocery store

coconut


1-put whole box of cookies in the food processor and chop fine.  No need to separate the cookie from the filling.

2-mix in cream cheese until soft sticky consistency (you may need to use your hands)

3-chill until firm enough to roll into balls

4-line a cookie sheet with wax paper

5-melt wafers in a double boiler on low heat.  When melted dip each oreo ball in chocolate and place on cookie sheet.

6-sprinkle with coconut or melted white chocolate

7-refrigerate until chocolate is hard

8-makes about 30 truffles depending on how big you make your balls.

Depending on how big you make your balls? LOL! This seems easy and delicious.

One of my quick treats is marble squares, they taste like chewy chocolate chip cookies, but better:

Marble Squares

1 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350F (175C). Grease and flour a 9x13 pan.

In a medium bowl, cream the butter (I cheat and soften it in the microwave) with white and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Sift together the flour and baking soda.

Spread mixture evenly into prepared pan. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top. Bake for 5 minutes, then using a butter knife, swirl the melted chips into the batter for the marbleized effect. Bake for 15 minutes longer.

I have made these 4 times in the last two weeks for a Jazz band bake sale, Dogs with Wings pot luck and for school parties. Very easy to make and very tasty.

If any of you have a favorite recipe, please send me an email (hunterinalberta1@hushmail.com) or leave it in the comments. I'm interested in a good shortbread recipe and one for "Oh Henry" type bars. So, share your recipes with all of us, it's a non-partisan type of Christmas activity!

Friday Night Funnies: Suck It Up Cupcake!

There were probably many, many times this year when I may have.....

Disturbed You,
Troubled You,
Pestered You,
Irritated You,
Bugged You,
or got on your Nerves!!
So today, I just wanted to tell you....

Suck it up Cupcake! Cause there AIN'T NO CHANGES Planned for 2011!
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REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
 Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.  Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
 We should have known…... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all  around the world in one night and not get lost.
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Subject: FW: A love story

 He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.
"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused
hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and
expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking `no' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ...
"Okay, ma'am, all done."

My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now." (OKAY, that is really funny!)
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 You have been chosen to receive the blessing of the Snow Fairy.

The Snow Fairy can bring you good fortune for one whole year.

May you be blessed by his good deeds !!!

  You must pass the Snow Fairy to 7 people within 60 seconds
to receive your one year blessing....
HURRY!
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Why you do not let men decorate the Christmas tree:

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How your kids learn about Christmas:


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I love Christmas. Thankfully we will not be traveling through the Rockies this year, as we have for  over 20 years.The picture shows us stopped because of avalanche danger.

My kids will finally get to experience Christmas at home. My parents will be flying into Edmonton in a few days and I can't wait. Tomorrow, we make perogies, sauerkraut for my Dad and me, cheddar cheese for the kids. If anyone needs the recipe, just leave a comment.

Forget about politics right now, enjoy your family and all your blessings. We live in the best country in the world, make sure you appreciate it!

Small Hero Challenge!

                                                    Puppy arrives from San Fransisco!

Searching for Liberty wants us to do something to help people this Christmas season. Great idea! At work we have sponsored a family this Christmas. We fill up a basket or three with food and gifts. It's too bad we only seem to be concerned with those families at Christmas and not all year round.

I have the best "small heroes" around. Anyone who reads my blog knows that my family is a foster home for service dogs in training. We have done this for over 8 years, and many very special dogs have passed through our lives, and hopefully many more will grace our home with their barks, yelps and whines at 2 in the morning!

Right now we have two beautiful black labs sharing our lives. They are both from a San Fransisco seeing eye puppy breeding program, and this will be their first Christmas. These dogs are truly amazing in the way they change the lives of the disabled people they help. They are not just seeing eye dogs anymore, they also help handicapped people and lately autistic children are finding furry friends make their lives less scary.

What bothers me is that a charity like Dogs With Wings really struggles to get donations while organizations are pouring MILLIONS of dollars into the fake climate change debate. If those same organizations gave Dogs With Wings just 1 million, that would set them up for 20 years and hundreds of people in need of an assistance dog would lead better lives.

Does the Suzuki Foundation deserve a million dollar donation? What does the Suzuki Foundation actually do? I know what the assistance dogs do, what does the Suzuki Foundation do to help a poor person? Do they plant trees? Do they physically help preserve any land, air or water? Do they go to Haiti to help rebuild the country? Seriously, what do all the environmental charities actually do? Have they saved a polar bear from drowning? (joke) Have they cleaned up China's polluted air?  (no joke) All I see is them basking in the warm Mexican sun at a two week conference, that accomplishes nothing and helps no one. University activists getting a free trip to a two week party, paid for by taxpayers. The money spent by those activists could have sponsored HUNDREDS of assistance dogs for the handicapped. 

                                                 Digging up my carrots! Bad girls!

Think about it. Which charity is more deserving of your donation? Dogs With Wings or the Suzuki Foundation? My money goes to Dogs With Wings, so the dogs can fly to help people who need them. Thank goodness for the charities that actually help people.

Oil Sands A Cleanish Bill Of Health!

Move over Ontario, Alberta is taking the reins and galloping towards economic independence, the rest of Canada is welcome to come along with us! Saskatchewan has already joined us. BC, oh who knows about BC from one day to the next? We already have huge numbers of our Atlantic cousins working here, with room for more, that leaves Quebec. If Quebec would look outside their province towards other provinces, they might actually see some kindred souls. Alberta wants less federal government interference, so does Quebec. Alberta wants provincial jurisdictions respected so does Quebec.

Instead of co-operation between provinces we are seeing Quebec and Ontario attack Alberta's oil sands on the international stage. Well here is some in your face material for Alberta to use right back....oh wait, we are not that immature, we wouldn't do that to our fellow Canadians.  Why do Liberal provinces think they can attack Alberta without consequences? 

Are the oil sands the most environmentally destructive project on Earth, as critics suggest?
While the belief that the Canadian oil sands represent the greatest environmental threat in the world “pervades” the Internet, the report found that it’s based more on photos of “ugly” surface-mining operations than on real scientific evidence. In fact, the Society says, the oil sands aren’t even the most environmentally harmful industry in Canada. The oil sands rank fourth in air pollutants in Canada, fifth for toxic emissions of mercury, sixth for cadmium, ninth for lead, as well as for four carcinogenic compounds. Oil sands production would have to quintuple for the industry to become the biggest industrial polluters in Canada, let alone the world.

 Soooo, the oil sands aren't the most environmentally harmful industry in Canada? Who would be number 1? 

According to the RSC, the “sands” are not dangerously polluting the air, nor are they fouling the Athabasca River drainage basin or causing elevated levels of cancer and other diseases among the area’s First Nations people — all claims environmental activists have made repeatedly.
The oil sands are not “dirty oil.” Climate activists at the 2009 UN climate summit in Copenhagen dubbed the development “the world’s most destructive project.” But the seven Royal Society scientists who spent 14 months studying what is known, scientifically, about the extraction of oil from Alberta’s mammoth bitumen deposits say the truth is far removed from the activists’ hype. “Based on our review of the publicly accessible evidence, a claim of such global magnitude is not accurate.” They point out that Quebec’s James Bay hydro project has destroyed 15 times as much boreal forest and that Canada’s coal-fired power plants give off more than five times as much CO2 annually as the oil sands mines.

Do you hear that Quebec? The James Bay hydro project is not as environmentally friendly as you want us all to believe. I wonder how loud the howls would be from Quebec if Alberta went on an international stage and slagged Quebec like they have done to us twice now?

ALL MP's Should Get A Real Job!

Before they jump from a university political science degree into politics, they should really get real jobs!

Let's look at some random MP's bios.

Malcolm Allen

Member of Parliament, Welland
Skills Training and Apprenticeships
Deputy Critic Food Security (CFIA)
Deputy Critic Agriculture

----------------

Mauril Bélanger was born and raised in the town of Mattawa, in mid-north Ontario. He obtained a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Ottawa. Mauril and his wife Catherine are proud grandparents.
Prior to entering politics, Mauril held various positions in the public and private sectors. In the early 1980s, he was an assistant to the late Right Honourable Jean-Luc Pepin; afterwards, he worked as a stockbroker and, in the early 1990s, was Chief of Staff for the Chair of the Regional Municipality of Ottawa-Carleton, Mr. Peter Clark.

--------------------

 Ron Cannan was first elected as Member of Parliament for Kelowna-Lake Country in January, 2006.

Ron successfully uses his experience and knowledge as a long-time Kelowna City Councillor and Regional Government representative to be an effective and enthusiastic champion for his riding and his constituents.

His greatest satisfaction comes from helping local organizations and citizens obtain the support they require from Ottawa. 

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 John (Cummins)holds a M.A. from University of British Columbia (1988) and a B.A. from University of Western Ontario (1966). In his early years, John worked in the pulp and paper industry in Ontario, the oil fields of Alberta, and on the construction of the Bennett hydroelectric dam in northern B.C. He taught school in the Northwest Territories and in the Peace River district of northern Alberta, then spent fifteen years teaching in Delta. John is also a commercial fisherman; he has owned and operated commercial fishing boats in B.C. for over 20 years.

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Telephone:	(613) 995-9732
Fax:	(613) 996-2656
EMail:	Guimond.M@parl.gc.ca
Web Site:*	Michelguimond.com (in French only)
Preferred Language:	French

So much for bilingual Canada there Michel, you hypocrite!
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A random, close your eyes and click on a MP, survey shows that only one MP has any industry experience at all. This is scary because they are making the laws and policies that impact our working lives. Four out of five have no idea what working in a non-union, non-professional/academic environment actually means. All MP's should get a real job before they get elected. I do not mean a government service sector job, I mean a REAL private industry job.

I urge you all to check on your MP. They might be nice guys/gals like my MP, but ask yourself, what have they done except get elected?

Here's some of my MP's bio:

He received a Bachelor of Social Sciences from the University of Ottawa, and a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Alberta. 

Great, education is a wonderful thing! No mention of a job except as MP.  He presently chairs the finance committee, and is doing a great job, but I wonder if he knows what a balanced budget actually means? Did he take any accounting courses at university? Social sciences...maybe some economics courses then.  Arts....would that be political science? What does one study at university when they study political science? The art of getting elected? How to shout down your opponent in Question Period? I don't mean to pick on my MP, because I feel he is a very good MP. He is active in the community, spends lots of time talking to his constituents, and never seems to make waves with any party members.

My point is that our politicians need to stop being politicians only worried about getting re-elected. They need to start thinking about what is best for Canada, now and in the future. The reform party used to ask their constituents how they wanted their MP to vote on controversial issues like gay marriage, and the MP honoured their wishes, no matter what the party stand was, no matter how the MP personally felt about the issue. It was refreshing and it empowered the voters not the MP or the party. I miss it. 

Maybe our MP's should go to a training camp. Send the Bloc MP's to Alberta to work in the oil patch, and send the Alberta MP's to PEI to fish for tuna and lobsters. If nothing else, it would be highly entertaining!

Education is wonderful, but your BA/MA/PHd gets you nowhere towards a career, unless you want to be a MP or teach. In an election your education doesn't really matter, and it shouldn't . Same thing goes for all levels of government, provincial and municipal, everyone gets a fair shot, it doesn't mean they are competent. This is why MP's get stuck in the polling muck, they have never had real jobs, and if they did, they have ignored what their constituents want, they vote the party line instead. Party loyalty should never be put before your individual constituents wishes, like happened with the gun registry vote.

 Get a real job MP's, it will help you understand what your voters are going through. Anyone can get elected, you don't even need a degree, if you are willing to listen to your constituents. You need your feet on the ground and your ear towards what your voters want, not what you think they want. Ford is an excellent example. Ford had a platform, and he stuck to it. All parties should be studying what he did right against all odds.

Get a job, then run for office, we would have a better run Parliament.

Pray for Andrew Lawton, God will listen. 

The Moment You Have All Been Waiting For....

HA! Okay maybe it's only the moment I've been waiting for, but our kitchen reno is 99% complete. We need to finish some back splash, slap on some paint, and we are done, just in time for Christmas!

It all started with one cupboard door that had it's paint steamed off because we had no fan above our kitchen stove. I started refinishing the oak doors back in August. Then we needed new back splash, appliances and a new counter top (Hubby never did like the pink counters). Here is the before reno picture, dark doors, white back splash and pink counters:

I stripped the doors, sanded them and let the real wood speak for itself. We painted the background green, got rid of the old back splash, curtains, sink and window frame. New classic country kitchen white appliances (no cold stainless steel for me) notice the 5 burner gas stove with convection oven? It's getting connected tomorrow! I can't wait to cook on it, though I anticipate some burned meals before I get the hang of the gas burners. 

I love the new back splash and counters! I love the dark green background (it took 3 tries to get the right colour) that makes the oak doors pop, and I am glad I went with laminate counters instead of granite. If you look real hard, you will see hints of green in the counter top.

Most of all, I'm glad the thing is finally done!! I will not be quitting my day job to pursue a new career in interior decorating, because the living room is calling me now! Does it ever end once you start?  

On Becoming a Locavore!

That's it, I'm joining the latest green campaign, I'm going to become a locavore! What the heck is a locavore you ask? It's the new environmental movement to eat produce from within 100 miles of your home.

I already grow my own produce, so I'm within the 100 yards rule! I make my own pasta sauce, pickles, salsa, pickled beets and for fruit, frozen raspberries and raspberry wine, all from my backyard! That should keep us over the winter. For protein I will have to send my husband out deer hunting, if not deer, we have plenty of rabbits in the neighbourhood, so it's all good.

Now that I have joined the locavores, I want to push all my soul mates to expand the list to include more than just produce. Why restrict the 100 mile rule to only locally grown produce? I want all goods and services bought to be produced within the 100 mile limit! That rule includes AVON products, seeing as they are trying to be so environmentally friendly.  Some of the products environmentalists will be happy to see on the list are vehicles, oil and gas, energy, lumber, steel, clothes, shoes, furniture and appliances, computers....really the list is endless.

Seeing as capitalism is so bad, this should totally destroy those capitalist pigs! We know how Walmart buys most of it's products from China, so this rule would stop them in their tracks. Only people in southern Ontario would be able to own cars, but they can't get any gas within 100 miles, so that takes millions of cars off the road. Flying over the 100 mile limit would not be allowed, so get those bikes out and start heading to the next eco-party in South Africa...make sure you have a sailboat waiting when you reach the ocean. Remember, no oil or gas unless it's produced within 100 miles of your location, you could close the "dirty" oilsands down within days.

This will reduce our carbon foot print in no time.  I think I'm on the right track....but seems to be a really bleak dismal existence, maybe I'll rethink my becoming a locavore.

Friday Night Funnies: Christmas With A Capital C!

What To Do When It Snows In Newfoundland ...

One winter morning a husband and wife in Cornerbrook were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."  So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."  The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park....." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice, that all men who are married to GOOD Newfoundland WOMEN exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
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 DEER CAMP
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site
only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and
dinner cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had
handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.

And then she said,
"Do what ever you want."

So, Here I am.
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Left to right - Princess Letizia of Spain , French First Lady Carla Bruni and,
yep, you guessed it. The End. No literally . . . The end! (Although I wouldn't
want my photo taken from behind next to those other two either! But my
dress would be more appropriate!)

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To get you into the Christmas mood:

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For your Christmas game, we have Holiday Penguin Charades. I only got two out of five right.
Have a great weekend, and don't spend all your dough on Christmas. It's family getting together that counts, not the presents!

AVON, Is The Ding Dong Calling!

I emailed AVON, and finally got a response. It was the same response that everyone got. They never answered my question, "Is your product produced within 100 kilometers of Edmonton?".

Nope they sent out a standard "cover your ass" email. Monster does an excellent dissection of the email.  

A while back I sent an E-mail to the Avon people about my displeasure of their GREEN attitude towards the Alberta Oil Sands.
Message:So you would rather use blood oil from Saudi Arabia or Nigeria rather then Alberta`s clean oil. That’s fine. I will just have to tell you that your products are no longer welcome in this household and any that are already here are now in the trash.

Monster and I got the exact same email. Go to his site to read the email, it is enlightening in AVON's obvious lack of knowledge of Alberta and the Oil sands. Trees? Hello AVON, trees don't grow in oil soaked sand. You are supporting more trees being killed

Christmas concert tonight was wonderful. My oldest rocks with his trombone! I am so proud of him. Bake sale went well... the band needs the money to be able to go perform at Disney World. How come  there is no money for bands, and no money for trips to Quebec? Who is getting all the federal dollars in support of arts and language. I can attest to the fact that we have paid FULL price for my kids to go to Quebec and Seattle (jazz band). We have had no tax deduction. I don't want special treatment, just fair treatment.

Where is all the "cultural arts" money going? Not to kids in junior/high school. What I have seen, is that we pay full price for any extra curricular activity our kids want to take, and the supposed "artists" demand grants for their survival.  Get a job, you are not special.

PM Harper Stricks Again!

I thought I might get a scoop on this one because all you eastern bloggers would be asleep, no such luck!

Our PM sang up a storm last night, he is way better than the keyboard cat! Too bad that CTV is chicken and won't allow comments. CBC covers the whole performance, but the camera work is really substandard, you see more floor than anything. Did they send their 4th string people to cover our PM? How much did that cost us taxpayers? CBC does not rock, but our PM does!

The one who should get some acknowledgment is Laureen.  She is the power behind the scenes. She is an amazing woman. She is confident, sure of where she is going, fun-loving, and she seems to be able to bring out the best in our PM. I guess that is why the media never report on what she is doing. Feminists must cringe when confronted with a real woman like Laureen. She is a powerful role model for all our teenagers. I wish what she is doing for charities would be covered by the MSM more often.

It looked like a great party! I would have loved to be there. I wonder if Iggy will wow the Liberals by reading War and Peace? HA!

Bad Opposition! Into The Dog House You Go!

Western Separation just got a huge boost today, thanks to our lefty opposition.  Can they get any dumber? Let's go all econutty to gain some lefty votes.....oh wait...they already have all the lefty votes, so let's pander to our lefty, green, immature voters and forget about the economic future of Canada. Iggy comes to Alberta and mouths platitudes about supporting the oilsands, then turns around and tries to destroy the industry with a sneaky vote on banning oil tankers. Does he think we are stupid? Okay, rhetorical question. 

OTTAWA — The opposition has stepped up its pressure on the Harper government to ban oil-tanker traffic off the B.C. coast, passing a motion in the House of Commons calling on the Conservatives to legislate a formal moratorium.
The opposition parties teamed up Tuesday to pass a motion introduced by New Democrat MP Nathan Cullen urging the government to immediately propose legislation to “ban bulk oil tanker traffic” through the Dixon Entrance, Hecate Strait and Queen Charlotte Sound, off the north coast of British Columbia.

Long live the coalition! Does Vancouver get oil tanker traffic? 

He says tanker traffic in Vancouver has grown with the Americans’ desire to acquire secure sources after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001.
Vancouver responded with new regulations that allowed bigger ships into the harbour and stepped-up safety measures.
Ships now use global positioning devices, double-bottomed hulls, guiding tugs, enhanced pilot training and navigational aids.
They carry crude oil from Alberta, a thicker, heavier liquid which doesn’t evaporate, sinks to the bottom and is difficult to clean up.
The huge ships are about one-third the size of the biggest vessels previously afloat, with a 700,000 barrel carrying capacity.
The tankers must navigate two shallow channels — at the First Narrows and Second Narrows.
The margins are so tight that they can’t be fully loaded because if they were, they wouldn’t clear the seabed. The only time there is enough water is at high tide.

Well, well, it appears that Vancouver has no problem with oil tankers, now anyone wonder why they would be upset with some competition from Kitimat? To the environmental groups (with Soros money) who are joining the First Nations groups to try and get the pipeline from Alberta to BC banned, CN already has lines all the way to the coast and oil containers as well. If BC doesn't want the jobs, so be it. We will just keep sending our oil into the US so they can have all the jobs that BC needs. 

What the opposition did with this vote was to give the Conservatives more ammo. They clearly showed the coalition is alive and as stupid as ever, and they showed that they do not care about the economy of Canada or Canadian workers. They know the the Senate is going to kill this bill, so they are being hypocrites. 

If they were really concerned about oil tankers, they should have voted to stop them from docking in Vancouver, and they should have set the same rules for the east coast....what's that I hear...The Irvings would never agree? Tisk tisk, the opposition are oil whores, for the Irvings that is.

The Winds Of Change Are Blowing Again In Alberta!

You just need to look at the history of Alberta politics to see what is going to happen next election! It's going to be interesting. 

1917 it's all Liberals, then, bang next it's all United Farmers. Then 1935 bang it's Social Credit, then 1971 bang it's Conservatives. Right now the Conservatives need to be worried, because in the 2012 election, I predict, it's going to be bang Wild Rose!

Interesting article about how the Liberals came to power in 1905...the usual, the Federal Liberals promised the moon and delivered nothing. I am shocked, they were at the same games as they are now way back in 1905! Oh, forget it, I'm not really shocked, it's what I expect of the Liberals. Bet this isn't in the history text books!

The Liberal Party took office in 1905, before Albertans had a chance to vote. They benefited from their association with the governing federal Liberals, who appointed the province's first Lieutenant Governor and made promises that depended on the cooperation of the provincial government. The Opposition Conservatives' advocated similar policies, but their support was limited mostly to southern Alberta, where fewer ridings were drawn. With no effective opposition, the Alberta Liberals held on to power until 1921.

Lefties often harp about Alberta being a one party province, and how that has ruined our province. Funny, we hear nothing about corruption in Alberta, but BC, Ontario and especially Quebec seem to be bogged down in corruption problems, something the lefties fail to mention is they are all run by LIBERALS! Fancy that! I say, Albertans are smart enough to not elect any lefty party in our very prosperous province. We now send our tax dollars to have not provinces like Liberal Quebec and Liberal Ontario, and Liberal PEI, need I say more? Keep your "progressive" economy killing lefty parties out of Alberta, we are doing just fine thank you.

The winds of change are blowing again in Alberta. Wild Rose is tied with the PC's.

CALGARY— Alberta’s governing Progressive Conservative party is in a statistical dead heat with the Wildrose Alliance as Albertans grow increasingly concerned about the state of health care, a new poll finds.
The survey by Environics Research Group, provided exclusively to the Calgary Herald, indicates 34 per cent of decided voters would support Premier Ed Stelmach’s PC party if an election were held today.
The poll found 32 per cent would cast a ballot for Danielle Smith’s Wildrose Alliance, meaning the figures are within the survey’s margin of error. The poll of 1,011 Albertans, conducted between Nov. 22 and Dec. 2, shows the Liberals under David Swann have seen their support slip slightly to 19 per cent, while Brian Mason’s NDP sit at 13 per cent.

Face it, Albertans will never elect the Liberals or the NDP. So now, we have a real battle between the PC's and Wild Rose. Is Alberta about to go BANG again and send the Wild Rose party into power? Maybe not this election. It will probably be a minority government with the Wild Rose as the official opposition. That would probably be the best outcome. It will give Wild Rose the chance to learn how to govern, and if they do a good job in opposition, the voters in this province will give them full support, and then bang a new party will rule Alberta. It's how us Albertans do things. We clean out the old really quickly and replace it with the new. The Alberta PC's have become really old, like smelly old shoes. 

I smell a change coming in Alberta, a fresh new scent of Rose petals, to clean out the stale offices of the Legislature. It's funny because Albertans rarely talk politics, they go about their work, without being political, but they shift as one. Maybe it's something in our water, or maybe it's our desire for a government that respects our independence as individuals. 

 

We know what freedom is, and we understand how it is slowly being taken away from us. My vote goes to the party that will abolish the AHRC (Alberta Human Rights Commission). Most importantly, my vote goes to the party that advocates for private property rights. Right now, we think we own our property, but in reality, the government can come and take it, and they can dictate what we use it for, or do on it, or with it. We have no power until we have private property rights. This should be a major platform for the Wild Rose party.

Cancun, Who Are The Deniers Now?

Look at those Sierra Club juveniles, burying their heads in the sand. Do they not understand economics? Maybe when their funding disappears and they can't afford to go to the next beach party, they might grow-up and understand that they are the ones damaging the poorest nations by refusing to let them develop and use cheap power.

Few heads of state are expected to attend this year's talks – in sharp contrast to the summit in Copenhagen. However, Hugo Chávez, president of Venezuela, Rafael Correa, president of Ecuador, and Bolivia's Evo Morales have said they will be there. All were accused by Gordon Brown of "holding the world to ransom" at the Copenhagen talks. They will be joined by the presidents of Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Colombia, Brazil and Guatemala.

Who would have guessed that Hugo Chavez would be there bleating for money. Gordon Brown was right about "holding the world to ransom"!

Someone has to pull the plug on the climate scam. Funding needs to be rerouted to REAL pollution problems. Send those Sierra kids to Africa to dig water wells, at least then they will make up for all the pollution that exists because money has been diverted to third world despots.

Last week at Cancun, in an attempt to influence richer countries to agree to give £20billion immediately to poorer ones to offset the results of warming, the US-based International Food Policy Research Institute warned that global temperatures would be 6.5 degrees higher by 2100, leading to rocketing food prices and a decline in production. 

Grip of winter: A woman and girl sit under a tree on a bench in South Weald Park, Brentwood, Essex, this week

The maths isn't complicated. If the planet were going to be six degrees hotter by the century's end, it should be getting warmer by 0.6 degrees each decade; if two degrees, then by 0.2 degrees every ten years. Fortunately, it isn't.
Actually, with the exception of 1998 - a 'blip' year when temperatures spiked because of a strong 'El Nino' effect (the cyclical warming of the southern Pacific that affects weather around the world) - the data on the Met Office's and CRU's own websites show that global temperatures have been flat, not for ten, but for the past 15 years.

It's not about pollution or even climate change, it's all about wealth redistribution.

CanCON, A Disaster!

Presidents, Prime Ministers and Heads of State are conspicuously absent from Cancun. This is a disaster for the climate change supporters. Nothing is going to come out of this meeting, except some suntans and hangovers.

One group that is there to politely protest are the Americans for Prosperity. They probably all flew there, not that it contravenes any of their beliefs, the same can't be said for the climate change crowd. They want us to reduce our consumption, gas use and flights, but it's okay for them to fly to Cancun because they have a "purpose"! They have a "cause"! They want to "save the planet"! What weenies!

Go watch the video at Americans for Prosperity, it shows us how people are starting to fight back against the econuts. One of the speakers is Andrew Breitbart, who brought down Acorn! Good job Americans for Prosperity, we need more groups like you to shine the light on the climate change fraud. I hear even Gore forgot to go to Cancun. Chicken Little's when the truth is shone down on them.  Is Suzuki there? I bet not. They know the gig is up and that this money transfer scheme is over.

Next meeting of these people needs to be in Churchill in February. Or maybe when it's warmer and the polar bears are still on land. We could send them out to count polar bears and see if they really are endangered....the bears I mean! Happy counting!

Friday Night Funnies: Check For Alzheimer's

 My house is on the right!

Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of

Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read

each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is fart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat..

12. This is seconds cat.

I was perfect, my hubby made one mistake. You do have to say it aloud, it keeps you focused. To see what that means for your future, check back later in the blog.
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Why is it that every time I hear about TSA, I immediately think Tits and ass? Maybe this is a clue... 

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 Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the
door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first
the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left.  He then hunches his
shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall
down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.  Then, grabbing
both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt
underneath.  With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and
hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing,
Billy Bob?"

"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously
embarrassed Billy Bob.  "But me'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in
the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do 'something sexy to
a tractor'."

[Don't make me 'splain this to you!]
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Check for Alzheimer's answer.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from

the top down and I bet you cannot resist passing it on .
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Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland

 Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.

 The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.

 As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'

 'It's a fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'He needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'

 The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.

 About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.

 The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! And she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.

 The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.

When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!' 

 'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.

The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!' 

 The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....

'LAIDTHEOLADEETOO'   
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This is undoubtedly the most expressive picture I've ever seen of an animal...
  You can almost hear him say these words:
  "You want me to do whaaaaat?"
  The look on this dog's face is priceless...

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Two feet of snow.....

_____________________________________________________________________Jus wundifool.......besdvice I eber hud


I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.  So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.

Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.


Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.
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Want to get in touch with your inner self? Try this, it's pretty accurate. Now can anyone help me put back splash on? Right, thought so, you are suddenly all too busy! If you don't hear from me, it's because I've glued myself to the kitchen wall! HA! Have a great weekend! Can you feel the Christmas tingle up your leg yet?