Friday, December 09, 2011

Eastern Farmers Join CWB!

In an unprecedented move, the farmers of Ontario and Quebec have joined in the Canadian Wheat Board (CWB) monopoly.

Herb Sniffor, from Grasslands Ontario stated "We are in total unity with our western brothers who are being forced by the government to have choice in wheat marketing. The only people who should have choice are women, not farmers." He also stated that "Even though Ontario and Quebec farmers are used to being able to sell their wheat to anyone they want, without the threat of jail, they welcome the restrictions of the CWB because they are tired of having to look after themselves, and they welcome with open arms the chance to be ruled by the CWB."

Justin Time, from Progessive, Quebec, echoed Herb's comment, and further stated that monopolies are great for the farmers because they get more for their products while doing less. Mr. Time also felt that supply management in Quebec was under attack and could not see how the dairy industry could survive if they were forced to compete with western dairy farmers. He stated that, "Our profits would disappear if we have to compete in a fair and open market, this is not something that we are willing to do."

Western farmers applauded the move by Ontario and Quebec wheat farmers. Mel Ancolly, a farmer from Ureka, Alberta stated, "This is great news, now eastern farmers will understand the true meaning of forced jail time and the uncompromising jackboot of the CWB! Now we will all be equally oppressed, instead of only western farmers."

The NDP stated, "This is a true victory for democracy, allowing a cartel to flourish against the will of farmers. Well, that's what a judge told us, so it must be true!"

Go CWB....and I mean goodbye! Stop using farmers money to fight the government. You have no control over the world price of wheat, you are acting like dictators. Unfortunately, the CWB is just like the CBC, entitled to their entitlements at Canadian taxpayers expense. Begone both of you!


Alberta Girl said...

BWHAHAHAHA...the sad thing is I had to read almost all the way through to understand that this was a spoof.

Because, you know, this is Canada and things like that are entirely possible with socialists...LOL

Bec said...

Me too AG and would have been penning something like 'entitled to their entitlements' or 'no creative spirit' or even perhaps 'lazy ba$tards'......Maybe I will just leave it at that because it just rings, to darn true!

How can the supporters of this socialist monopoly NOT see the obvious? Why are they not supporting these farmers? Are they afraid that Western farmers will beat them at their own game?
I wish someone could actually make sense of this double standard.

Alberta Girl said...

Whenever I ask one of our "esteemed" journalists how they can support this unfairness, I either get no answer - or in the case of tweeter Kady - I get a tweet to the effect that she wasn't going to comment because the original tweet wasn't about that?? HUH - way to dodge an answer!

Martin said...

The only significant production of wheat in Eastern Canada is in Ont.
Ont. Wheat Producers Marketing Board has been in buiness for years, lacking the draconian rules of the CWB, it markets much of the Ont. crop, without a great deal of controversy.

Patsplace said...

Hunter you've missed your true calling. You should be running for the NDP and writing policy. I too was had when I started reading your spoof.

dmorris said...

Geez,guess I'm not as senile as I thought,picked up on the parody as soon as I read "Herb Sniffor".

I knew Herb's younger brother,G.Lew Sniffor,and have to say Herb's mentality runs in the family, "never do anything without the government being involved". Ralph Gooddale's a close relative of the Sniffors,VERY close,if y'know what I mean.

I ventured down into the Republic of Obama a while back and was disgusted to see eggs,milk,cheese,chicken,and poultry all for sale at about half our prices! Alarming!

Thank God for Marketing Boards!

I read yesterday at National Newswatch that the elimination of the CWB is also a safety issue,and soon we'll see poisoned grain products on the shelf. That goldurned Harper!

Now,if only government could regulate the internet.

maryT said...

A constitutional expert was just on Evan's show and said that those reading the Judge's decision have missed a very important clause and the govt is in its right to keep going. If it appeals all it is appealing is a slap on the wrist by the Judge. No laws were broken in this bill.

syncrodox said...

Nice piece of satire Hunter, too true and too funny!