Friday Night Funnies: Newfoundland Icebreaker.

After all the money we have spent on icebreakers, we get this Newfoundland Icebreaker?

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Please read!!!

If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a 'dangerous breed' category and you also have a child or a visiting small child please take this as a warning.

Don't leave your dog with a small child unattended under any circumstances!!!

Only one little moment was enough for the following to happen.


See the photo below ..... Be prepared, it's not pretty....


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1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you look.

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. Didn't you just put him in there? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? (Answer later...don't peek!)
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A NEW COMPUTER MOUSE FOR WOMEN...

After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse given away with PC's. Scientists found that there is not a physical reason for their aversion; it is more of a Psychological problem.

Some women reported that their mouse 'just didn't feel right' in their hands. Based on the research, a new mouse has been designed especially for women. Various field tests have been carried out on the new design:

Julie from Calgary Alberta said:
It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be.’

Susan from Vancouver BC added:
I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women. It fits right in with my lifestyle'.

Hillary from Winnipeg Manitoba : said - ‘I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one'!

Sally from Toronto Ontario Said - "It feels so natural".


What did you think you were going to see?
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Answer to crocodile question:

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers.
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1. CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE

3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK

4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY

5 CLICK ON 'OPEN'

Don't forget to click on 'OPEN' !!!

ENJOY!
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This is how the old blond's are dumb thingy got started:


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(Note this is an American joke, we would say "First Nations" person)

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun
In one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter:

'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure, Chief. Coming right up.'

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
Turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun,
Causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere
And then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling
Another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to
The waiter

'Want coffee.'

The waiter says 'Whoa, Tonto!

We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.

What was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says ..

'Training for position in United States Congress:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
Leave mess for others to clean up,
Disappear for rest of day.
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There was one POSITIVE result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program!

It’s taken 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road
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Instead of a game, here is a quiz, how many did you get right? Friday Night Quiz
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Something good for your soul to get you to sleep or wake you up:

Amazing Grace at the Roman Coliseum by IL Divo
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Okay, I think I have potentially offended just about every gender and special interest group with this one, so my job is done. Don't take yourselves so seriously! Laugh a little! Being politically correct is putting us into straight jackets, and making us all puckered up like dried prunes. Or is that interfering prudes? I can never keep it straight. HA!

Have a great weekend, and as always, many thanks to all my joke finders! It makes my job easier, I get to laugh and enjoy them all week, not just on Fridays.