Friday.. Oops..Saturday Funnies!

Seeing as I just had New Years funnies, my supply of jokes is limited, but I think some of these are funny:

Three little ducks go into a Bar.......

'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.

'How's your day been, Huey?'

'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?'

'Dewey,' came the answer from duck number two.

'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked.

'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?'

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?'

'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes.

'My name is Puddles.'
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It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung out the wash to dry, put a roast in the oven, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hotter dan hell today," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" So she walked in and took a seat at the bar.

The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.
"Ya know," Helga said, "it is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer.
"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.
Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yur viener?"
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To save the economy in 2009 the government will start deporting all of the
weird old people.

I started crying when I thought of you.

Run, my friend, RUN !!!!

Well....what can I say....someone sent it to me! I'm not going alone.
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Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.
They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the
WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN
WILL WORK !!!!

It doesn't get much clearer than this.................
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The Roomba, from a cat's prospective:


And from a dog's prospective:



Who's smarter?
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If Santa missed your house this year, I might have found out why:


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Have a great weekend! Dang holidays make me tired.