Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Night Funnies: Warning To All Golfers!

Someone missing a cat?
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A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.. Thanks for telling me officer."

Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the Golf course.

On Golf days, a lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden.
It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
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Two Cajuns, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, were adrift in a lifeboat. While
rummaging through the boat's provisions, Boudreaux stumbled across an
old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth.. This
genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the
standard three.
Boudreaux immediately blurted out, 'Turn the entire ocean into
Budweiser beer!
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately
the sea turned into beer and the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the
two men considered their circumstances.
Thibodeaux looked disgustedly at Boudreaux whose wish had been
granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment Thibodeaux said, 'Nice going
Boudreaux! ........Now we're going to have to pee in the boat.'
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Keeping with the beer theme:

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My dream home:

Okay, not really, I hate water and heights! Give me a bungalow on Alberta soil any time!
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Water Fountain Fun in Italy:
video
Not sure this video is going to work because it won't preview. Hope it does because it is really funny.
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Fluctuations:
I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.
I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian
lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get
two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"
(To my lefty friends, this is a JOKE. Oh, why do I bother, lefties have no sense of humour!)
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ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH TOMORROW. THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING & SEXY "OLD" PEOPLE.

I'M JUST MAILING YOU TO SAY GOODBYE... I've got to go pack!
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I know guys love trains, but everyone would love to see this display:


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Dining out in the world game, I got 8 out of 11, but I am protesting the one about left handed eating! There was no right answer for a left handed person (I can not eat with my right hand unless I want to wear my meal)....oh dang does this mean I'm a lefty??? I'm going to have to think about that one over the weekend, I think Obama is a lefty too, so this might take some righty tighty, lefty loosey thinking. Have a great weekend, stay warm!

6 comments:

West Coast Teddi said...

Being "left-handed" means that the RIGHT side of the brain is at work all of the time (O'bambam excepted)fully understanding the Conservative Way. We can eat and drink at the same time - pizza in 1 hand, Bud in the other and with no need to have a clothing drive!!

Thanks Hunter for FNF

MONSTER said...

Wouldnt drop my trousers for a Bud Lite. An Old Style Pilsner (how many rabbits can you count on the label? And can you see the naughty/naughty in the smoke from the trains stack?)is another matter.Could,and has got me to do the full monty.See you on the star ship.

MONSTER said...

Sorry to go off topic Hunter but I just came across a site that you might enjoy. http://allrecipes.com/Default.aspx.I hope it will get me off of my diet of beans and weiners or any thing that requires a barbeque:).

hunter said...

Hey Monster, I've been known to use allrecipes a few times, but I'm usually a throw whatever is in the fridge into a pot, type of cook.

My families all time favorite is beef stroganoff. Cut beef roast (cheapest one you can find, because all Alberta beef is good) throw in onions, garlic and mushrooms, use at least a cup of Worcestershire sauce, simmer, then finish with sour cream (usually the big 600g tub and more Worcestershire). Serve with large egg noodles or even better, cheddar cheese perogies! YUM!

It's a fast impressive meal in less than 30 minutes, no bbq necessary.

Dang now I'm hungry.

MONSTER said...

Hunter.. I did copy your perogie recipe. Havn`t had a chance to use it yet. Give me a bit to dig it up and I`ll send you my mothers potato pancake recipe. And her corn fritter one too.

hunter said...

I love potato pancakes with onions and sour cream, but mine sometimes end up doughy, so please send that recipe.