Monday, March 12, 2012

Conrad Black To Take Over CBC!

Breaking News: In an attempt to clean up the biased CBC, the Conservatives have appointed Conrad Black as the new president of CBC.

Order of Canada recipient, Conrad Black will have his Canadian citizenship reinstated, after Chretien forced him to give it up in an act of sheer pettiness and envy. Once his citizenship has been reinstated, he will take up the reins of the floundering CBC.

Government spokesperson, Ida Truth, had this statement:

"The CBC needs to generate more revenue, and the man to turn it around is Conrad Black. He is a proven entrepreneur, with great experience in the media. We anticipate a bit of resistance from the CBC, because they are so used to relying on government funds, that they can't understand that real businesses can actually turn a profit."

Conrad Black could not be reached to verify the truth to the rumour, but it is anticipated that once he is released from prison on the trumped up charges, he will be more than happy to help restore civility and truth to the Canadian media.

When reached, the current president was unable to speak because he was too busy crying on Craig Oliver's shoulder.

The CBC is in shock that their little kingdom is now being threatened, and all the posters on their site are furiously trying to arrange a huge protest on parliament hill, so far 12 people have signed up and at least double that are expected to show up.

This might be the death of the biased CBC, and the true awakening of a new capitalist enterprise in Canada, one the fairly competes without government funds.

Expect more shouting, whining, gnashing of teeth, and hair pulling before a peaceful resolution is arrived at. The CBC will never be the same again! HA!

H/T Cardinal Richelieu
The Toronto Star is not fit for the bottom of a birdcage.  I earnestly look forward to the return of Lord Black to this country where he will certainly provide some spark to the discourse.  He has much to offer Canada. He should be asked to head the CBC so he might provide the necessary leadership to clean up that moribund organization.


Jim Pook said...

A little early for April Fools isn't it?

/Though I do admit to checking my calendar...

West Coast Teddi said...

Fab idea ... please send to Steve Harper, PM

I'd even watch/listen to CBC for a moment just to see the changes then I would return to FNF for a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

The Toronto Star is to journalism what pondscum is to food.

JohnR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JohnR said...

Blacks column in the weekend NatPost was titanic. Black is a treasure and it would be fun to see heads explode if the Ceeb was handed over to Black for some very much needed adult supervision.

Progress is going from Tony Al-Jaz Burman to Filbert LaCroix and crew all the way to Conrad in a ....mere generation.