A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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Jesus and the Robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk.
He replied, "Who said that?!"
Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"
The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."
The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"
The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"
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This is the reason my Friday funnies are short tonight. I spent most of the evening going from this:
To this:
Check out those speakers! Yup it's a 24' iMac. The learning curve is going to be interesting.
Have a great weekend. If my posts are garbled and disjointed for the next little while, it's because of the big switch from a PC to a Mac! So far, so good. These old eyes are loving the big screen with the over sized writing! I consider the fact that I was able to download some pictures and create this post a big step forward. Now if I can only get used to the fact that the min/max/close buttons are on the left side instead of the right, and that I do not have the right click on my mouse anymore, I might survive this new experience!
10 comments:
Hey, Hunter, welcome to the Mac world!
Actually, if you've been navigating the PC world, switching to the Mac should be a snap.
Congratulations!
But where will you put Elvis?
And where did you get the corner desk? I've been looking at solutions and haven't seen much that I like yet.
And ... now that you have a 24" screen, will you need more white-out to get those pesky lefty trolls off your blog site? (it's a blond joke and an old one at that!!)
Thanks for the funnies!!
WCT, Elvis is staying right here hiding in our basement! We got the desk years ago at Staples, it was a little more expensive, but it is sturdy. Our boys have gone through 3 desks in the same time, but the Ikea one we bought them is holding out really well.
There is a way to get the right click button on the mouse to work. I do not know how, but my friend and Mac expert managed to do something to get mine to work.
Keep looking.
Go into System Preferences (on your dock), click on "mouse and keyboard" and then "mouse" and you will be able to activate the right side of your mouse.
Thanks Gayle! Your instructions helped, I can now right click! YAHOO!
Is Yahoo not some sort of trade name suitably protected by some sort of patent law? And what is a "chucker" like yourself using a "cowtown" slang when hockey season is still on and football has yet to begin?
Hay just askin'
I wonder if you are a big an Elvis fan as my sister was. She was also a frequent visitor to Vegas. On one trip Elvis was appearing and she just got in line (no ticket) and when she got to the door they were not going to let her in. And her reply, listen, I have attended almost every concert he has put on, and we just got in this morning and didn't have time to let Elvis know we were coming. Just tell him ----- is here and I know he will let us in. We are friends. After about a 15 minute rant, they let her in. Years later, when his limo was going to Calgary to be displayed, with pictures signed by Elvis, and there was a cost to get in to see it and pictures signed by Elvis were for sale, wouldn't you know that when it got to customs there were problems with the paperwork, and it had to be unloaded and inspected. This delay took over an hour but it was time for all of us to go see it, and get a free picture instead of paying some fine. But, those with the car balked when we wanted to take a pic beside it. Everyone had a good laugh. I sent my pic to my sister.
WCT, seeing as the Oil seems to be out of the playoffs, I'm practicing my "cowtown" yells!
MaryT, Elvis is still my favorite, I think because my Mom loved him so much they were the only songs we heard growing up.
Best I've done with getting close to a celebrity was running up on stage in Vegas to get Rodney Dangerfield's tie.
Working at the customs we had the opportunity to see many so called famous teams, bands etc come thru. And every time there was a reason to have them all come in to verify paperwork (and get autographs) When the Globe Trotters come thru, the bus was emptied and we all gasped at how tall they all were. Everyone of them had to really duck to get thru the door. The last one off was a very short, fat guy. (mascot maybe) but the officer next to me said, oh oh, he must be the basketball. Since 9/11 all that fun stuff stopped.
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