It's Friday, Relax, Have a Chuckle!

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

! ! Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q : When is the best time to get an epidural ?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
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But, before the kids go to college, or even kindegarten, you must handle this little obstacle. For all you Dad's, this one is for you:




Once you get though that stage, be ready for the next one:
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A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses ........... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the ............... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before..... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of...... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ..... How?
6. Don't bite the hand that ....... looks dirty.
7. No news is..................... impossible
8. A miss is as good as a......... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new.. Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll.... stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust................. Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the .... pigs.
13. An idle mind is ................ the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ..... pollution.
15. Happy the bride who ............ gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ............... not much.
17. Two's company, three's......... the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs
with you, cry and .............. You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ...... Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not.... spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand ............. is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than ............... Pregnant

Now, go out and have some fun, it's Friday!