Saturday, December 06, 2008

The Friday Funnies: Playboy Calendar

It's been quite a week, so it's time to sit back, have a beer/coffee and just rejoice in the fact that, life is good!

>>I KNOW BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>Bacon Grease warning
>>The question is: Do you use bacon grease?
>>We were raised on bacon grease (lard) as kids and even into adulthood.
>>I will never use it again. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you
>>fry bacon from now on. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.
>>I just threw out my last 2 tbls of bacon grease!!
>>This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This is a
>>warning, send this to everyone you care about.
>> Love, Vann
>>It could happen to you...
>>Bacon grease will make your feet small!! Warn everyone !!
With Christmas rapidly approaching, this is a warning for you guys out there:

A man is at the dentist's office for a routine appointment
when the dentist notices that the patient's plate is severely
corroded, but can't figure out why.

The dentist says to the patient, "I've noticed that your
plate is severely corroded. Have you had a change in your
diet recently?"

To which the patient replies, "Why yes sir. Six months ago
my wife introduced me to eggs benedict. I fell in love with
the hollandaise sauce and now I put it on eveything."

"That's it! The hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice which
is very acidic. That explains the corrosion of your plate.
I can replace your plate, but I have to make it out of chrome."

"Why chrome?", asks the patient.

"Why don't you know? There's no plate like chrome for
the hollandaise."
If only humans could adapt like animals. Two white tigers find a new Mom!

Finally, for you guys out there who like the Playboy Bunnies Calendar, here is a sneak peak of the 2009 edition:

Careful, make sure your wife isn't looking.....

HA! What did you expect? This is a family watched blog. Okay, get a good nights sleep, because tomorrow is RALLY time! Get those Canadian flags out and show your support for freedom in Canada!


Anonymous said...

My dear Hunter. I have to say that your funnies are mildly amusing but, unfortunately, they just don't fare well when compared with this:

Read it and you will realize that there has never been anything so ridiculous in centuries of politics. I laughed and laughed until I realized that it wasn't a joke. Pathetic.

PS - your funnies are actually really good. I was being tongue in cheek when I opened my comment.

West Coast Teddi said...

HeHeHe ... HoHoHo ... from the WCT doghouse!!

Merry Christmas Everyone

West Coast Teddi said...

This is an "oldie but a goodie" on the state of the auto companies bailout ... Hunter, hope you don't mind me posting this?

A Modern Parable.

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India .

Sadly, the End.

Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results:

TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses... and now wants the Government to 'bail them out'.


Southern Quebec said...

Merry Christmas Teddi!

Anonymous said...

Teddi - isn't that the truth? I hate reading that the auto "sector" is in trouble. The sector is NOT in trouble. The (formerly) big three are in trouble and it's because of really bad management (who somehow earn great bonuses for their performance) and really lousy products.

I own a 2008 Corolla and I love it. Toyota is doing so well that it has surpassed GM in sales. Not bad for a company which produced the old rust bucket Corona and weak Corolla way back in the early 70s.

West Coast Teddi said...

Thanks SQ ... All the Best to you and yours and to all the others that visit this site this holiday season.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with a vacuum cleaner for a present? I'd be happy with an 18 volt Dewalt cordless drill as an anniversary gift. Or a tap and die and a can of WD-40 for that matter. If it were a Shop-Vac I'd rub the good Mrs. feet for a month! heh heh!

Anonymous said...

Hey E of E, I also own a 2008 Toyota. A Camry (NON HYBRID) I use capitals because I don't buy into all this feel-good hype and for the extra $7-9000K for the hybrid, I'd never see payback in gas savings unless I drove it for 20+ years.

That said, I bought the Camry for the same price as a Chevrolet Malibu knowing full well the Camry will be worth twice as much as the Chev in 4 years time.

I say too little too late for the Big 3. Screw 'em. They build (and continue to build) crap, never listened to public demand and got crushed by the imports.