IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN.
Who's jolly and cute,
Wearing a beard and a red flannel suit,
And if he is chuckling and laughing away,
While flying around in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along,
Then let's face it...
Your eggnog's too strong!
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A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions"
to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most
riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your a$$ hole is doing while you're having an orgasm???"
She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."
The Professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.
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Two alligators were relaxing in the swamp talking.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said,
"I can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me.
We're the same age, and we was the same size as kids.
I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?"
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.
"Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
"Down 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawls up into one of them Lexus
and wait fer one to open the car door.
Then I jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator,
"I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment."
"See, by the time you get done shakin'
the shit out of a Politician,
there ain't nothin' left but
an a$$hole and a briefcase!"
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SNL forbidden skit! The way they are erasing stuff off the net, this might disappear soon.
It appears that this can not even get posted on Youtube, so it must be worth watching. If that doesn't work, try this:
http://guestofaguest . com/finance/the-forbidden-snl-%20economic-bailout-skit/
Remove the spaces before it will work.
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And for those with too much time on their hands, we have a skeet shooting game. My son watched me try to play it, and took over after I hit no skeet's. He advanced rapidly, so I kicked him off my computer.
You try it, it's not as easy as it looks, unless you are a 13 year old sharp shooter!
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No baby animals this week, but I did find a Baby Queen for your listening pleasure:
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It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."
Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.
Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! !!
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Get out there tomorrow and shop like crazy, we can stop the coming recession if we buy stuff. Simple demand and supply. Just don't buy on credit. I'm getting into the Christmas mood now that we finally have some snow. The minus 30 tomorrow doesn't inspire me to do anything but stay in my flannel pj's and read a good book, like Atlas Shrugged, for the 8th time! What a great gift idea, Atlas Shrugged for everyone, or The Fountainhead or We The Living.
10 comments:
Thanks again for the funnies ... read them all again, they are the perfect intellectual therapy ... for your own sake!!
Shopping has been done - local, kids plane tickets booked and paid for, no snow yet but there was some "talk" about it last night, been in the mood since Grey Cup (or is that Gray cup?)
Merry Christmas Everyone
That first clip tells it exactly as it is. But, just imagine how much worse it will be after the politicians get to call the shots when the banks get nationalized.
Since all the financial institutions have taken the taxpayer's bailout money and decided to sit on it, rather than to use it for loans, I predict that within a year the world's governments, in an effort to get the economies moving again through credit availability, will decide that they are better off to take over the banks.
Merry Christmas everyone...except all bankers.
Yes!!! Everyone buy stuff you don't need, with money you don't have! Consumers for Christmas!!
Nothing quite says Christmas like Ayn Rand, eh?
Wow - I guess I'll never be a sharpshooter. I didn't get even one. Now, elf bowl - there's a game I can win.
And a very Merry Christmas to you, as well, Teddi.
After reading the funnies guess I can pass this on.
There will be no Nativity Scene in Ottawa this year, according to the Supreme Court. Not for religious reason, they couldn't find three wise men from the east or a virgin, but there were lots of asses for the stable
I got to level two several times but can't get further. Had to quit to put up a tree. Will try later.
Where is Sarah when you need her.
Good one MaryT! My tree is defrosting, a steal for $30 at Rona. I told my husband years ago to pick the fattest tree, not the tallest, good thing he listens to me, we always have beautiful trees, and the smell is wonderful!
One of the "hazards" of living in a condo - no real trees, but we have had ours up and decorated, the lobby foyer is decorated and guess what "we have snow this evening" so cool (that too). I have even found the snow shovel so will be prepared to tackle the impending catastrophe in the morning. In this country one must remember what one has to do when the snow falls - such a forgetful occurrence!!!
Merry Christmas Everyone
After seening your halloween decorations, can't wait for your Christmas decorations.
Snowed in yesterday, and a friendly neighbor used his equipment to get our driveway cleared, but still too cold to go out. But, my hubby is bored, can't get out for his coffee breaks and bs sessions and is bored out of his tree. He actually did something yesterday he has never done before, vaccuumed.
Our 7 yr old g/daughter is snowed in with us. Hubby and I had a small disagreement about where a chair would go with rearranging the room for the tree. She took grandpa by the hand and let him to another room and gave him a talking to. She told him, grandpa, when grandma says no, you should listen to her. Chair is where I want it.
Kids, they make the world go round.
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