Frisday Night Funnies: Polar Bear Attack!

I wasn't going to do the Friday Night Funnies, because it is hard to laugh when so many people in Haiti are in such need, but I read about how they pray and sing all night, and I thought we should all try to lift our spirits.

Dressing for your next international flight:
They still have to take off their shoes!
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My Resume ...

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate...

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, But they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work! , I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains'?

'Not yet', she replied.
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I love Dolphins, they are so intelligent, watch how one dolphin circles and stirs up the sand so the fish start jumping ...


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Polar Bear Attack on a human in Churchill, Manitoba, Canada.

These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack in Churchill.

These pictures were taken while people watched
and could do nothing to stop the attack!

Reports from the local newspaper say that the
victim will make a full recovery.


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A Strange Old Tool - do you know what it is? Look below -



This Old Tool has been reintroduced in Washington by the Dems'. They call it Obamacare.
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An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301.
I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and
with you elbow , pusha 3.

When you get out, I'mma on the left.
With you elbow , hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"
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For your useless, time wasting game of the week, I have found the jackpot.

Tiger's Transgressions, you golfers are going to love this one!!

Have a great weekend, we are basking in the heat....global warming has finally arrived!