Friday Funnies: Pool Chick!

It was a beautiful day here, ate our first peas of the season, with baby carrots and new potatoes, and I only had to go all of thirty feet into my garden, not 100 miles. No CO2 was killed in this exercise, well except for the meat, juicy fall off the bone ribs. I was sitting back now with a glass of homemade red wine, no chemicals added, enjoying the cool evening air, then I remembered, Friday Funnies!!

The first is from a reader of my blog, who has sent me some good ones like this first joke, the rest are from my American friend!
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A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during
a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel
where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel
schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday,
with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the
hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to
his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following
a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and
friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2007

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and
you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as
mine was.

P.S Sure is freaking hot down here!
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Subject: Italian Pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up telephone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:

'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him ....

"You a gonna try again."
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A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,
"Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied,"No. I work for a condom company. These are customer
Complaints
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The Texas Republican party
just had its convention in Houston
and sold this T-Shirt.
Gotta love that...


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Bet you thought that wine made me forget the one you have all been waiting for, pool chick! You are all going to be astounded by this chicks pool moves, I know I was.


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Happy Friday! I have hopefully changed the setting so anonymous posters can not post anymore, please email me if you are now having trouble posting comments.

Now, I'm going outside to enjoy that glass of wine, the mosquitoes, and our very short summer.